Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we’re going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call “pro-you choices”. These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 4 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

I can’t imagine not being a thoughtful, kind person in the world. I am glad that at least some of the time I am able to respond to other people’s wants, needs, and suffering.

But one of the consequences of being known to be thoughtful is that other people often come for help. In extreme cases, they aren’t looking for help, they just want us to solve their problems.

At some point it can become too much and just because someone we love it having a hard time, it doesn’t mean we are responsible for solving all their problems.

We can be thoughtful, helpful, and caring without taking on everyone’s burdens. In this week’s audio I have a story about how I was able to change the dynamics of a relationship where I had let a boundary down to the point that it was making my life difficult.

There is also a tap-along that will make it easier for you to be the kind and thoughtful person that you are without having to take care of every burden of everyone you know. (A printable tapping script can be found below the audio.)

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I know the people around me struggle…Because everybody struggles…Sometimes I can be helpful to the people around me…Because I don’t want to see them suffer…And I don’t want to see them struggle…And there are also times in which it is not best for me to be helpful…There are times when it is not best for the relationship for me to swoop in and solve the problem…And when that is the case…There is a part of me that feels bad for not being helpful…There’s a part of me that feels bad when I see other people struggle…But I recognize that I am not able to solve everyone’s problems all the time…I can’t be in a situation where I take responsibility for other people’s lives…Even though there’s a part of me that feels like I need to help…I recognize the fact that sometimes that is not useful in the long term…I recognize the fact that is not healthy in the long term…It is possible for me to be responsible to my loved ones without being responsible for my loved ones…It is possible for me to be helpful without helping right away all the time…It is good for me to create boundaries…It is healthy for me to create boundaries…And it is necessary for me to create boundaries…I can be kind…I can be thoughtful…I can be helpful…I can be loving…And not take on the responsibility of everyone else’s problem…There’s a part of me that struggles with finding this balance…It is important that I find the balance…Creating boundaries isn’t being mean…Creating boundaries isn’t thoughtless…Creating boundaries isn’t heartless…Creating healthy boundaries is a necessity for me…I give myself permission to create boundaries…I give myself permission to learn how to create boundaries and to stick to them.