Question: I am worried that if I say negative phrases while tapping I will bring negative things into my life. How can I use EFT without having to use negative phrases?
I have received this question a lot and there are few reasons why it’s such a common question.
First, some people don’t want to focus on the negative because they are worried that they will tap something negative into their system. When we are tapping we are not tapping anything in or anything out of our system. Instead we releasing the thoughts and beliefs that are not useful. It is a process of returning to our natural emotional balance.
Second, some people believe that the subconscious mind does not understand negative statements and take these as statements of desire. For example, the belief is that since your subconscious mind doesn’t understand the negative when you say “I don’t want to be fat!” the subconscious hears “I want to be fat!”
There is no proof that this is the case (as in this has never been proven in the context of scientific experimentation). AND I could not find an explanation why it would be useful for our subconscious mind to screen out the negative.
I believe it works in exactly the opposite way. Instead of not hearing the negative, I believe that if there is any belief in our subconscious mind about a negative outcome, it will present itself no matter what we say.
Positive v Negative Phrases
Let’s take a look at what happens when we are tapping using both negative and positive tapping phrases. For this example we are going to use the issue of wanting to lose weight.
If we used negative phrases we might tap on something like this:
I have failed before at losing weight…and I’m worried that I will fail again…every time I lose the weight it creeps back…but this time will be different…not only do I have a plan to lose the weight…but I have a support system in place…to help me keep it off.
If instead we decided tap with positive phrases, it would go like this:
I am going to lose weight…I am going keep the weight off…I am going to look awesome…I am going to feel so much better.
On the surface it looks as if we are only focusing on the positive, but our internal monologue is very different. Every time one of those phrases is said out loud if there is any part of the system that doesn’t believe the phrase to be true, the critical voice will speak up to voice its objections. It might go something like this:
What is said Out loud: I am going to lose weight.
What the internal critical voice says in response: And then gain it right back.
Out loud: I am going keep the weight off.
Critical voice: No you aren’t. You failed before and you will fail again.
Out loud: I am going to look awesome.
Critical voice: Only for a short while.
Out loud: I am going to feel so much better.
Critical voice: And then the weight will pile back on and you will feel like crap.
You can see that when we only focus only on the positive and there is a part of us that doesn’t believe the positive statement, the negative will show up.
The good news about this that it doesn’t matter if we use positive or negative phrases because either way we will find our way to tapping on the issues needing attention.
Which Should I Tap On?
The question becomes “Should I use positive or negative phrases while tapping?” For me, the answer is both.
If I recognize a specific limiting belief or block, like the fear of gaining the weight back, my tapping will be most effective if I go right at that issue.
At the same time, when I state the goal I want to achieve in the positive I will find my way to negative self-talk and limiting beliefs that I didn’t know existed.
When tapping I recommend that you alternate between positive and negative phrases so that you get both of these benefits.