I love helping other people out. I think I am good at it and I know that I enjoy it. I also know that others have noticed that I am good at helping people. I have personally and professionally been recognized for doing so. It is part of who I am and it is part of my identity. I am seen as a ‘go to’ guy.

None of this is bad unless I start defining myself as someone who helps others. None of this is bad unless I start to think this is the only way we can have value. We can find ourselves in a place where we are doing everything possible to make people see that we are helpers, that we are caregivers, or that we are putting everyone else first.

We start to think: “Please, please, please notice how much I am putting myself last!”

If we do this we risk losing our identity and ourselves and it can become very unhealthy.