Why is it that fretting, stewing, or worrying about an issue consciously doesn’t dissolve the emotions, but tapping while expressing it does?
photo by Mike
In part one of this series we looked at how the human mind creates models of information from our experiences which enable us to quickly assess the situation we are in. We also looked at the way these inaccurate and/or incomplete models can cause us problems. In part two of this series we looked at how Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can be used to update and change these models to be more accurate and therefore serve us better.
In this third part of the series we are going to look at how our disposition affects our ability to use EFT to change these models. At the end of part two we showed that EFT is a mechanical process. If EFT is done correctly it will work. It does not require you to believe that EFT will work, and it does not require you to have the intention for healing to happen.
But there are two ideas that must be kept in mind for the statements of the last paragraph to be true and for EFT to be an effective tool in our lives.
First, EFT must be done correctly. When I say “done correctly” I’m not merely talking about the mechanics of the tapping on the body or saying the reminder phrase just perfectly. Yes, it is important that we tap on the right points, but we can only say that we are doing EFT correctly when we are pulling the emotion or model into our energy system so we can work on it. Simply saying a phrase out loud does not guarantee that we have brought the emotion into focus.
I can say “This pain in my neck. This pain in my neck. This pain in my neck.” and be thinking about what I want to have for dinner tonight. It might appear that I’m doing EFT correctly, but in reality I’m just going through the motions.
This cannot be stressed enough, especially to those who are just starting with EFT. The words we use are not magic. They don’t have to be prefect. They don’t have to be said in just one way. The phrases we say are only important in the way they help us to stay tuned in to our problem.
When a client is crying (having a SUDs level of 9 or 10) we don’t need to say anything out loud. They are completely tuned into the issue. As the issue comes down, we will then start using the phrases to make sure the client stays focused on the issue.
EFT is a mechanical process that works — “when we do it correctly.”
Second, if we believe EFT works we are more likely to DO it than if we don’t believe.
This is really common sense. It could be 100% true that if you stand on one leg for 23 minutes a night humming “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” that you are going to find your true love. There is no way I am going to believe it. So it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, because it will have no effect on my life. My belief doesn’t determine whether this action works, but my disbelief is going to prevent me from trying it. In this case it won’t work, because it doesn’t work for me.
EFT is no different. If you don’t believe it will make a difference in your life, you are much less likely to do it. This is the only way belief can affect EFT’s effectiveness. We will be more willing to try it when we are around people who believe in its effectiveness. We might even try it from time to time on our own, but as soon as we find some resistance or the moment the one-minute miracles stop, that is the moment we will stop using EFT.
EFT is a very powerful tool:
- which works regardless of whether we believe in it or not
- which we won’t use unless we believe in it, therefore our belief will determine if it is effective in our lives