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Facing My Fears Unexpectedly Led To Action

January 12, 2016 by Gene Monterastelli

The Cost Of Looking Fear In The Eye

a sink full of dirty dishes made me happyLast year I spent some time trying to figure out what my next venture would be.

Working on a new project that calls on my creativity feeds my soul.

The project I was considering was a new podcast called “Facing Fear”. My plan was to record a weekly podcast where I would explore one of my deepest, darkest fears.

I’m talking about the kind of fears that would have me tossing and turning for hours in the middle of the night.

Fears like:

    • There is nothing exceptional about me.
    • I'm 42. Since I haven't found anyone to love me yet, I never will, and will die alone.
    • I spend too much time worrying about my own crap and my loved ones don't know that I care about them.
    • I am just filling my life with tasks so as to avoid facing my loneliness.
    • At my core I am really a selfish person. I worry more about replacing my computer than I do about the real suffering in the world.

 

I know. It’s upbeat stuff. My heart aches a little just in typing that list.

Each morning I set aside a little time to work on the project.

My list grew and grew as I tried to find the ten “best” fears for the first set of shows. I started outlining short essays about each fear and what I believed to be the root cause.

I found myself practicing the wording about the fears for the recordings while I was in the shower or on my exercise bike.

Then something really unexpected happened…

One afternoon I went to get a glass of water and there were no glasses in my cupboard.

A Pile Of Dishes In The Sink And No Clean Bowls Or Glasses

I know that an empty cupboard isn't really such an odd thing but let's consider a few facts.

    • I live alone.
    • I have at least a dozen glasses.
    • When I am looking for an excuse to be busy and feel productive I do dishes.

 

That last point is the important one.

Whenever I am trying to avoid my worries about things that feel dangerous or overwhelming I head straight to my kitchen and clean.

In that moment I noticed that my counter and sink were cluttered with dishes. Almost every dish I owned was visible and dirty.

And the reason was because I was so busy doing more important tasks that I wasn't feeling the negative emotions about those tasks.

By thinking about this new podcast I was facing my fears head on and healing them.

I have never been so happy to see a pile of dirty dishes in my life!

It Wasn't Just Clearing Core Issues. There Was Another Key Factor

I need to be clear it wasn't just a matter of facing my fears. Three key factors created the change:

    1. I named my fears fully and honestly.
    2. I thought about the root causes of those fears in a systematic way.
    3. I was working towards a clear set of goals.

 

Wallowing in my fears would not have been helpful. That can become self-indulgent and unhealthy.

Taking the time to uproot the fears meant that I was healing and feeling better BUT real transformation only happened because I had a clearly-defined list of goals and I was able to step into action.

The Right Number Of Goals

I think there was also a secondary factor that contributed to my success in taking action: I had the right number of goals.

There have been times in my life where I have had a full page of detailed goals. Goals for my personal life, my physical health, my spiritual growth, and my business.

It’s great to have that sort of clarity, but in truth I have found it difficult to commit to working towards so many goals.

Around the time I started working on the fear project I had pared down my list of goals to just three.

I wasn't saying that my life was perfect or that I only needed to work on three goals but by focusing on just three I was able to give each one the attention required to make real progress. I had learned that spreading myself too thinly meant that I wasn't moving forward with anything.

You Can Do This Too!

I want you to have the opportunity to experience what I did.

I want you to have the opportunity to find and clear the core issues holding you back. I want you to have a clear idea of what you want AND I want to support you so you don’t have to figure this out on your own.

In the past I have offered 8-month programs which have been more geared toward business owners.

This winter I am offering a 4-month program focused on transformation in your daily life.

This program will help you to get clear about what you want, uncover what is holding you back, and guide you as you clear those issues systematically.

Here Is What The Program Includes:

This will be in the format of a 3-hour phone or Skype call, which will be recorded. (Yes, we will take breaks as needed.) At the end of the call we will have a clear plan with well-framed goals and benchmarks to measure your progress along the way. (Assessments, planning sessions, tap-along audio, clearly articulated goals, and plan – $1000 value)

[Note: We don't have to do this as a call. You are welcome to come to NYC and we can do this work together in person. I will even buy you lunch!]

After each call you will receive an audio recording of the session so that you can return to the tapping we did AND you will be given a tapping code that you can do twice a day to help you to continue clearing the issues covered during the session.

    • Goal, Asset, and Obstacle Assessment – Before we can begin we need to know where you are right now in your life. This assessment is designed to help us gain a clear picture of the obstacles you face and your unaccessed assets to allow you to reach your goals (even if you aren’t quite sure what they are right now).

       

    • Core Issue Assessment – Most of my clients have one or two core issues holding them back in many areas of their life. This assessment will help us to zero in on those core issues to guide our work.

       

    • Assessment Prep Tap-Along Audio – Starting a process like this can feel a little scary. You might be worried that we will uncover something awful or that you will do the assessment wrong. There are no right or wrong answers in these assessments but to make it easier for you I have created a tap-along audio to help you to feel comfortable and safe as you go through the process.

       

    • Kick Start Planning Call And Long Term Plan – After you have completed the assessments and I have had the chance to study them we will create your personal plan. During this call we’ll define your focus for the program in the form of three goals. We will also find clarity on which core issues we will target head on.

       

    • 14 Weekly 45-Minute Coaching and Tapping Calls – Each week we will have a 45-minute call in which we will review the week’s progress, tap for any new issues that have arisen, tap on the core issues standing in the way of progress, and create very specific actions steps to be taken over the next week. ($2100 value)
    • Weekly SOS Tapping Call – Sometimes issues and resistance to taking action pop up. I would hate for you to feel like you have to wait for our next call to receive tapping help. Every week you will have the opportunity to have one 15-minute SOS call where you can jump on the phone and do a little tapping with me. ($700 value)

       

    • Email Support – This is something that I only offer to clients working with me for a long period of time. I will respond to any email within 24 hours. This is a great way to get questions answered promptly and keep you moving toward your goals.

       

    • Advanced Tapping Techniques – In this 8-hour audio training course I teach you exactly how I tap, the tools I use in client sessions and when I am working on my own, and how to know which tools to use in each situation. ($497 value)

       

    • 10 Question Process – I use this process for tasks as small as rearranging my office and as big as creating a new product line. In over 3 hours of audios I will teach you the process so you can use it again and again to figure out your next steps and name the core issues getting in your way. ($187 value)

       

    • 6 Months Access To The Ruach Center – The Ruach Center is a membership website that has over 200 tapping audios and hours of instruction to help you to eliminate self-sabotage and take action. Every morning you will receive email with a link to a new tap-along audio to help you start off your day on the right foot. ($97 value)

       

 

[Note: If you purchased Advanced Tapping Techniques or the 10 Questions Process in the last six months I will apply that purchase price to the cost of this program.]

Yes, This Is A Serious Investment.

That is over $4800 in products and personalized service.

I am offering this program for an investment of $3750. (There is also a four month payment plan available.)

Yes, this is a serious investment.

BUT that is exactly what it is, an investment in yourself. This isn't about the next four months or about achieving some short term goals.

The transformation on offer will be carried with you throughout your life. The skills you learn through this transformation will be useful again and again in the future.

Is This Right For You?

This isn't for everyone. Like I said above, I can only to work with 8 people in this program.

We need to make sure that we are a good fit. I don't want you to waste your time and money. If you are interested I need you to fill out a short application (it is only four questions). After I read the application I will get in touch with you. If we seem like a good fit I’ll set up a time for us to talk so we can have a conversation to see if that is the case.

Then and only then, we will begin.

If this is going to work it has to be the right fit. This is non-negotiable for me and it should be non-negotiable for you too.

Are you interested? Then click the link and fill out the application.

>> Yes! I am ready to clear the core issues holding me back and achieve my goals!

If you have any questions just reply to this note and I will answer anything you have.

I look forward to serving you,

Gene

PS: Remember, when we clear a core issue related to a goal we are not just clearing it for that goal, but for all areas of our life. When you do this work the effect will ripple into all areas of your life and not just for four months, but for the rest of your life. Join me on this journey.

PPS: If you are a small business owner and are looking for something more comprehensive geared to growing your business reply to this message so we can set up a longer conversation.

Filed Under: Notes, Q&A

Do You Own A Smartphone? – Introducing The TappingQ&A App

October 11, 2015 by Gene Monterastelli

Tapping Q & A SmartphoneOver the last few months I have been working on (OK, I hired someone to work on) a Tapping Q & A app for both Android and Apple smartphones.

Both of them are now available. In addition to having access to all the free resources on TappingQandA there will also be some app only exclusives.

You can download the app here:

  • Apple App
  • Google/Andriod App

Once you download it, send me an email from inside the app and I will send you a free tap-along audio.

Let me know what you think.

Gene

PS: If you download the Apple App make sure you turn on push notifications.

Filed Under: Notes

The 10 Questions That Changed My Life

May 11, 2015 by Gene Monterastelli

Good morning,

Last week I was having dinner with a friend I’ll call “Sally” at a place that serves the most amazing chicken and waffles.

As we were enjoying dinner she explained that she was having a really hard time. She was in the middle of a move. Her job was stressing her out. She was thinking of changing careers. AND she had been sick for weeks.

I was listening closely as caring friend.

She stopped. Looked me dead in the eye and said, “I know you like to leave your work at work, but right now I don't need my friend Gene. I need Gene the coach. Help!”

So I smiled, ordered another drink, and began to ask her some questions.

It Only Took 10 Questions

Over the next 45 minutes I asked her ten questions. With each answer she gave I repeated back what she had said in my own words and asked a few follow-up questions.

At the end of 45 minutes she said, “Wow! You’re so smart. Thank you for helping me out with that.”

The funny thing is, I didn't say anything smart.

I didn't offer any advice. I didn't make any suggestions. I didn't help her plan anything.

I simply asked ten questions and in the process of answering those questions she was able to see clearly what she wanted – and, more importantly, needed – the steps she needed to take, and the emotional blocks she needed to clear in order to be successful.

These Are Not Random Questions

10 Question System When Sally asked me to put my coach hat on I didn't just start asking her random questions, but instead I worked her through a specific process designed to move us from confusion, to clarity, and then to action.

The 10 Question System (I know it’s not an awfully catchy name) is very powerful and something I use in my own life as well as with my clients.

This system guides me when I’m trying to do something as small as reorganizing my office or something as large as creating a new product line.

I Want You To Learn This System

On the surface this system looks super simple and that is because it is simple.

BUT just because something is simple doesn't mean that it is easy to do at first.

To that end I have created a training program that will walk you through the full system. Not only will you know the right questions to ask and the right order in which to ask them, but you will understand the motivation behind each of the questions.

Once you master the why of each question it will stop being a formula and start to be something that you can integrate into your daily life as you make choices, as you are helpful to your friends and family, and can be integrated into client work if that is what you do.

And it is not just ten questions!

Each step along the way I teach you how you can tap for the information that comes up from each of the questions. You are not just figuring out what you want and need but also how to clear the issues that will (and always do) come up along the way.

What Is In The Program?

The system consists of more than 4 hours of audios which will teach you:

  • How and why we create limiting beliefs, and how to break down your goals in a way so that you can find every fear and limiting belief lurking in your subconscious.
  • Tools to knock out these limiting beliefs anytime, anywhere. THIS IS KEY: Not only will this tool set help you when you are sitting at home working through your goal list, but when any fear or limiting belief pops up in any situation you will be able to knock it out.
  • How to recognize when limiting beliefs are holding you back (because sometimes we don’t even see them)
  • In addition to more than 4 hours of instruction you will also receive a digital workbook that will take you through the ten steps. Because this system works for any of your goals, when it is time to go after the next one you’ll easily be able to print out a fresh copy of the workbook to guide you through the steps.

Bonus Tools To Help You Achieve Your Goals

This system is great at uncovering the root causes for not taking action and the limiting beliefs that make it difficult for you to take action.

I want you to be successful. I want you to achieve your goals. To that end I am adding four audio bonuses that you can use to knock out these common beliefs and fears:

Resistance To Change: If there weren’t resistance to change we would have already changed. Sometimes this resistance has nothing to do with the specific change, but is about change in general. This audio will make you more comfortable with change, which will help you to take action. ($13.77 value)

Being Open To The Process: It can be scary to think that we will uncover our fears and limiting beliefs. This audio will help you to know that it is safe and good to do this investigation and work. ($13.77 value)

Believing You Are Worthy of Better: Almost daily I talk to clients who don’t believe they deserve a better life. This audio helps you recognize your worthiness which will help you take action. ($13.77 value)

Permission To Be Easy With Yourself: We are our own worst critics. We are harder on ourselves than anyone else ever could be. When we are kinder and more loving towards ourselves we are able to move forward faster. ($13.77 value)

That is $55 in free tap-along audios that you can use over and over again.

Very Special Deal

The system normally costs $189, but for the next two weeks I am making a special offer. In addition to the $55 in bonus tap-along audios you can get the system in one of three ways.

1) The Full Program: You receive the bonus audios and the full program for only $97. That is a 49% discount. Get It Now!

2) The Program + A Little Help: You will receive the bonus audios, the program, and one full hour working one-on-one with me to help you quickly knock out the stubborn issues uncovered by the system for only $197. That is an 89% discount on the program. Get It Now!

3) The Program + A Lot Of Help: You will receive the bonus audio, the program, and five one-on-one sessions with me. Imagine what it will like to have someone walking with you helping to clear out these issues. You get all of this for $787. When you do this you receive the whole system free of charge! Get It Now!

Act Today!

People just like you are taking control of their lives and taking the action that they want. Join them today. Don't miss this opportunity to transform the way you approach your problems.

When you order you will be given instant access to all the downloads.

Do it now: Yes! I want access to the system right now.

Gene

PS: The longer you wait to get clear the longer you are going to be stuck where you are right now. That is time that you are never going to get back. The sooner you take action the sooner you will have what you want. Order now!
https://tappingqanda.com/actnow

Filed Under: Notes

He Called Me An Internet Huckster (AKA: Why TappingQ&A Exists)

March 9, 2015 by Gene Monterastelli

You Internet Hucksters!Good Morning,

I recently received another one of those emails when I was selling my Advanced Tapping Training.

It went like this:

“Oh I see how it is! You promise that you are going to give us all this free stuff only so you can sell us products.

I have seen this from other internet hucksters. Your bait and switch isn't going to work on me.

I never want to hear from you again! You should be ashamed!!!!!

It has been a while since I last did this and I thought this was a good prompt to re-explain why TappingQandA.com and this newsletter exist.

So here are the 3 reasons I send these newsletters and one change coming up.

Reason #1: To Provide Good, Useful Content

My hope is that every time I add a resource to TappingQ&A you will find it helpful. That it will help you understand your issues in a new way and that it will help you to grow your tapping skill set.

I know that not everything I create will be useful for everyone on my list. My aim is to listen to you, my readers, so that I am covering the topics that are most useful.

Reason #2: I Learn A Lot

The process of running the website has been an amazing learning experience for me. I have had the chance to interview some of the brightest minds in change work and there have been countless times where I have written a post and then thought, “Wow! I didn't realize I believed that.”

Having to think about what serves you every week is helping me to learn more and grow. I am so much healthier and happier because of this website.

Reason #3: To Grow My Business

Yes, this is in fact a business and livelihood. The only way I am able to create so much free content for the site is because I am able to make money from selling products and services.

The nice thing about the way I have built my business is that it’s dependant upon only a very small percentage of my readers. In most cases when I offer something for sale fewer than 1% of my readers buy it.

That means the odds are that you have never bought anything from me AND that is perfectly fine.

I hope at some point in the future you find an offering that works for you. Until that happens, keep enjoying the free content.

The One Change That Is Coming

I have been looking at the site data from the last few years and I have noticed an interesting trend. When I send emails less frequently, more people unsubscribe and when I send emails more often, people become more engaged.

I know, that seems backwards, but it is what is happening.

To that end you are going to start hearing from me more often. Instead of once a week it will be closer to twice a week.

The good thing is you control whether or not you hear from me. If at any point you no longer want to receive these emails because they are not serving you, all you have to do is click unsubscribe at the top or bottom of the email.

You will never receive another message from me again.

I don't want to send you emails unless you want to receive them. I am happy when people unsubscribe because it means they are controling their time and what is coming into their inbox.

Thanks For Being A Reader

It is really amazing to think that all of this started from a blog that I hosted free of charge in my spare time. I have learned so much from my clients and readers. My life is so much better because TappingQ&A exists.

Please continue to let me know how I can keep serving you in the future. The easiest way to reach me is to hit reply to a note like this.

Blessings,

Gene

Filed Under: Notes

The Best Of 2014

December 28, 2014 by Gene Monterastelli

Best of 2014There are a number of books and movies that I revisit at least once a year. I do this because even though the stories and information are the same, I have changed and therefore they impact me in a new way.

It might be the sixth time I have re-read a particular book, but it feels like there are passages that I have never seen before.

As we come the end of 2014 I thought it would be useful to revisit some of the best of the best from TappingQ&A. If there is something from the site you loved this year, but I missed on my list please add it to comments below.

Thanks again for your continued support.

[Read more…] about The Best Of 2014

Filed Under: Notes Tagged With: Best of

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Meet Gene Monterastelli

Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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