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My best skill as a human being

April 16, 2021 By Gene Monterastelli Leave a Comment

Last summer I was on a second or third date. As we were (illegally) drinking wine in the park, my date said to me, “We have to talk about your confidence. I want to know all about it.”

I raised an eyebrow of concern.

She quickly said, “No, no, don’t get me wrong. I’m not calling you conceited. You just have this ease and confidence about you that is appealing and it’s something I am a bit jealous of.”

To be honest, I was a little taken aback.

In my professional life I am quite clear that I am confident in most situations. Even if I’m not 100% certain of what is going on, or if I will be successful, I do know who I am professionally (for good and bad) and I’m comfortable with that.

As for my personal life, that wasn’t always the case. I found my way to tapping over 15 years ago when I was looking for a way to manage my acute social anxiety. At that time I couldn’t answer my phone or ask for help in a store.

I was anything but confident.

AND now, fifteen years later, here I was being complimented for my confidence in a social situation.

Personally, I wouldn’t call it confidence. Instead I describe it as being comfortable in my own skin. For me, that means knowing what I am good at and what I’m not. I know what I enjoy and what I like to avoid. I have a sense of what other people think about me, and I have a clear understanding of whose opinion matters to me.

Having this sort of understanding about yourself allows you to move through the world with more ease. It is not that I am confident, but I am comfortable. Feeling comfortable makes it so much easier to show up as my authentic and imperfect self.

At this point in my life, that’s how I feel most of the time. Not just professionally as I did in the past, but in all settings.

The combination of self-acceptance and self-knowledge is another way of expressing being comfortable in our own skin. Being able to know and accept myself as I am is the most important skill, trait, or attribute that I have. (I’m not sure what is the right word there.)

  • It makes it easier for me to love myself
  • It makes it easier for me to love others
  • It makes it easier for me to handle failure
  • It makes it easier for me to learn
  • It makes it easier for me to grow and evolve
  • It makes it easier for me to know what to do next in the moment
  • It makes it easier for me to step back to care for myself
  • It makes it easier for me to stand up for others
  • It makes it easier for me to take care of myself

Self-acceptance just makes life easier.

In this month’s Art of Delivery Monthly class we are going to cover self-acceptance and being comfortable in our own skin.

You will learn:

  • How to tell if you are truly comfortable in your own skin
  • How to uncover blocks and past traumas that may be preventing you from fully accepting yourself
  • How to heal those wounds in simple and gentle ways

Just like every other month there will be teaching, a demonstration of the tools I am teaching, your chance to try them out in a small group, and answers to every question you have (even the ones that are about tapping, but off topic).

This month’s classes are scheduled for:

  • Tuesday, April 20th at 8 PM Eastern time
  • Sunday, April 25th at 12 noon Eastern time

You can attend either or both classes AND you receive a recording of both classes regardless which one you show up to. Some people can’t make the live classes and just watch the replays.

The class only costs $37 (they generally run about two hours) OR you can save $10. For only $27/month you can attend as many classes as you like, and you can cancel any time.

Often people ask “Is it OK if I sign up for this month, pay $27, and then cancel to avoid rebilling?” The answer is yes, you are more than welcome to do that if you like.

You can find full details on the program and sign up here: ArtOfDeliveryMonthly.com

Let me If you have any questions,

Gene

Related articles and podcasts:

  1. Pod #153: Being Comfortable In Your Own Skin (w/ Tap-Along Audio & Script)
  2. Pod #203: EFT For Confidence
  3. Pod #223: Becoming Comfortable In Your Own Skin w/ EFT
  4. Pod #216: EFT For Radical Self-Love w/ Gala Darling
  5. What Tapping Has Taught Me That I Wish I Knew When I Was 13 (Tapping For Self-Respect)

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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