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Pod #431: My Favorite Tapping Tool: Talk About, Talk To, and Talk As If

February 17, 2020 By Gene Monterastelli 10 Comments

The majority of the issues that I work on with my clients have something to do with the people in their lives.

Sometimes the issue concerns someone we interact with now, and at other times it is about the limiting beliefs people have given us in the past.

The struggle with issues that have to do with someone else is that we can’t change another person and we can’t take responsibility for their transformation. And even if someone else wanted us to take on their transformation and we were willing to do so, it can’t be done.

To that end I have created a tool called Talk About, Talk To, Talk As If. It is a framework for tapping that allows us to look at a relationship from three different vantage points, giving us the ability to tap on any issue from each of these points of view.

Two important notes: First, I think this tool is so powerful and useful that it’s the very first tool I teach people after I have taught them the basics of tapping. Second, this is also the tool I teach people when they ask about surrogate tapping. It is not surrogate tapping, but understanding this tool will help you to understand my approach to surrogate tapping.

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Related articles and podcasts:

  1. Pod #31: Using NLP with Tapping
  2. My 10 Favorite Articles From 2011 Featured On Tapping Q And A
  3. Pod #28: It’s Not Surrogate But It Helps Others To Make Different Choices
  4. Pod #45: Three Step Approach To Surrogate Tapping w/ Gwyneth Moss
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Filed Under: Podcast, Tools Tagged With: How To, Practitioner, Premium Member, Surrogate, TapAlong Member

Comments

  1. karin van wesenbeeck says

    August 11, 2011 at 6:40 am

    I really like your ideas.

    Thank you
    Karin

    Reply
  2. Sue says

    August 11, 2011 at 6:51 am

    Thanks Gene.
    That is a great idea. I have used, visualising positive outcomes, in the past with great results, but your idea covers all the angles and tapping makes it so much more powerful.
    If we can spread this far enough, the world could become a more peaceful place.

    Reply
  3. practicalwellbeing says

    August 11, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    This is great Gene. I love the simplicity and the fact that it covers the different perceptions of what is going on in any relationship conflict. I have a process (3 Perspective Tapping) with a similar intent using the 3 perceptual positions of NLP but it is more involved than this approach. So kudos for you for coming up with something so portable.

    I also appreciate the explanation the power of changing your part in the system as having effects on the system as a whole rather than some magical way of changing the other person. Great to hear somebody explain that clearly (much more clearly than I just did)

    Reply
  4. Betul says

    August 12, 2011 at 4:46 am

    Thank you for the podcast Gene. Is it possible to have it in printed form?

    Reply
  5. Gene Monterastelli says

    August 12, 2011 at 6:01 am

    I sent it off to the transcribers yesterday and it should be up soon!

    Reply
  6. Rada says

    August 19, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Gene, I can not remember how I came to you, but I’m grateful for that.
    “About, To, and As If” is a great tool, one that I was in dire need.
    I can not thank you enough!

    Reply
  7. Jolene says

    December 16, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    I just tapped along as you explained the 3 part process and did it about someone dear to me who is going through hell trying to get off of a heavy drug addiction. It calmed me down a lot from the panic I’ve been experiencing and will probably benefit my relationship with her.

    Reply
  8. Frances Soda says

    January 23, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    Great information Gene. I have been using that process for relationships. You have pointed out other issues to use it for which I hadn’t considered. Thank you.

    Reply
  9. Su says

    January 24, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    really helpful Gene thank you as always for your inspiring info..hehe all I have to do now is remember to do it : ) thats what I find lets me down.
    do you have a tap along link for that?
    blessings to you

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. My Favorite Tapping Tool: About, To, and As If – great podcast from @tappingqanda « EFT Tapping Techniques says:
    August 30, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    […] Bonus Pod #22 – My Favorite Tapping Tool: About, To, and As If  by Gene Monterastelli on 8/10/11 […]

    Reply

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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