Recently I made a mistake and I hurt my friend “Dave”. That mistake caused him a lot of trouble.
In addition to being mad at me for making the mistake (which he had every right to be), Dave was also mad at me because he thought I had taken advantage of him. Because I knew him so well, he thought I’d used that knowledge against him to get what I wanted.
It simply wasn’t true. I had made a mistake, but I hadn’t done anything malicious or intentional.
Dave didn’t give me a chance to explain myself and left thinking I was a selfish, mean person.
This week’s audio is the tapping I did after this happened. This is me in real time dealing with my emotions because a friend thought ill of me.
Even if this isn’t an issue you are dealing with right now, you might find it instructive to hear me dealing with something in real time, and it just might be useful in future.
There is also a text version of the tapping script below the audio player.
I’m really frustrated by the fact that someone else thinks ill of me…They think things about me that simply aren’t true…And there is nothing I can do about it…Their mind is made up…They are unwilling to listen…They are unwilling to try to understand…I hate it when people think bad things about me…Especially when they’re not true…I hate that they are wasting time and energy thinking poorly of me…I hate the fact that they are in a situation where they don’t think of me well…Because I want to be liked…I want to be accepted…I want to be appreciated…I want to be seen for who I truly am…I wish I weren’t preoccupied with what someone else thinks…I wish I didn’t care…But there is a very human part of me that does care…There’s a very human part of me that craves acceptance…I give myself permission to let go of the desire to be accepted by others…I give myself permission to recognize my worth and value isn’t determined by others…I give myself permission to know I am not defined by what others think about me…Even though I hate being in this position…I give myself permission to recognize my own worth…I give myself permission to recognize my own value…I give myself permission to know I am more than what others think about me…I recognize the fact it is possible for me to let go of my desire to be loved by all…I give myself permission to know I am not responsible for what other people think and feel about me…Even though there is a part of me that wishes I could change their mind…All that I can do is make good choices in this moment…All that I can do is take responsibility for my choices…All that I can do is strive to be who I truly am… I give myself permission to do exactly that…In this moment and in each successive moment…If I do that I will find my way to being the best that I can be in this moment…That is what I want…That is what I’m going to continue to strive for.
Caron Harris says
I will use this one again, since I was in a long-term situation like that, and it left a mark. Thank you, very valuable!
Sume Gewehr says
Very helpful, Gene. Thank you for sharing!
Silke says
Thank you, Gene! This is awesome and right on the spot for me. Feels like you wrote it for me ;) Thank you for making your personal script available for me and others. All the best
Carol Strickler says
Thank You Gene, Excellent!
Claudia Sanz says
Love it! Thanks very much!