[Note: Tapping Q and A is a very personal site written from my point of view. I do not claim to have the only answer or the best answer to any question. These are my reflections and offered as nothing more than that. Most of the articles are written as purely informational. From time to time I offer a more personal opinion on a topic. If this not your cup of tea I would encourage you to check the other great informational resources. As always I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic in the comments below.]
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One Minute or One Session Miracles With Tapping/EFT
The term one-minute/one-session miracle is loosely defined as a problem or issues that is solved in a few rounds of tapping or a very short period of time. I believe that this type of healing is possible with and with out tapping. Even within conventional western there are well-documented cases of massive instantaneous healing. I have seen breath-taking shifts within my own clients and myself.
As wonderful as these wonderful one-minute/one-session miracles are I think as a Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping community we are doing ourselves a disservice in the ways we talk about these one-minute miracles. I am not saying that there is no room for us to talk about these very real healing experiences, but I think we can get lost in our own enthusiasm and run potential tappers over. (I know I have!)
Here are three of the problems I think we have created for ourselves.
As EFT/Tappers We Can Look Like Charlatans and Hucksters
Just for a moment I want you to forget everything you know about tapping. I know that is impossible, but just for a moment look at the following statements through the eyes of a non-tapper:
- My life long fear of needles disappeared in under twenty minutes by tapping on my body.
- In three minutes I was able to release the pain of a childhood trauma that haunted me everyday.
- Everyday for two weeks I spent less than five minutes a day tapping and my six year old son’s verbal skills went from that of a twenty month old to that of a five and half year old.
In the world of infomercial and quick fixes these statements sound fishy even though everyone one of these happened to my clients. For someone who has no experience with tapping it is easy to lump these claims in with “all I did was put this thing around my waste, watch tv a I ended up with washboard abbs.”
We live in a time and place where advertising is approached scientifically. Marketers know how to create a compiling case to get the publics attention. The problem is so few of these claims are ever met that it has created an even more skeptical market place and a more skeptical public.
“If it sound too good to be true it probably is,” has become the modern consumer’s mantra. If all we talk about is these amazing results it is going to be very easy for people to dismiss us as modern snake oil salesmen.
I am not saying that we need to hide our successes or the power of the tool set, but I think when we are talking about the power of the EFT and our tapping tool set that we take time to look at our message from the point of view of someone who doesn’t have our history and first hand experience of tapping working.
We Create Unrealistic Expectations With Tapping/EFT
I have had this experience so many times that it no longer surprises me. It happens in three basic steps. First, I am working with someone who is very skeptical about tapping. Next, we have success with tapping and they get very excited. Finally, they become very frustrated because they are not able to fix every problem in their life with one round of tapping.
Most of the time we judge success not based on what we achieved, but instead what we achieved in relation to our expectations.
For example, one movie that no one knew about could do $5million in first weekend sales to be seen as a smash hit and the movie with the big star could open for $15million and be seen as huge flop. The second movie did so much better, but it didn’t meet expectations.
If all that we talk about (or all that is heard, which can be the case) is the super tapping success stories then we are going to be setting up our clients for the feeling of failure. Sure they might have just relieved 20% of their chronic back pain (that everything else has failed at providing relief for years), but they were expecting total relief therefore in their mind it was a failure.
I have found it hard enough to keep some of my client’s expectations (and sometime mine own) near reasonable. If we spend too much time talking about the one-minute miracles then we are setting the newbie up for failure.
Again, we have not failed because the tapping has failed, but because there expectations were not reached.
I have found it best to under promise and over deliver. I not saying that I am deceptive or lying, but I am making sure that I am saying things that are true and keep expectations in check. For example when I am asked if tapping will work for an issue I might say something like, “Tapping has worked for lots of issues. I have seen it work in similar cases. It doesn’t work every time because there are a number of variables involved in success. We can sure give it a try.”
We Might Be Missing The “Real” Deeper Issue
One of the things I have noticed in working with clients is that it appears that the body has a limit to the amount of healing it can do on some issues over a limited period of time. This is actually a good thing. It would be dangerous for the body to lose 60lb in one week, not matter how much we want to loose the weight.
I believe the same is true for healing emotional issues. As much as we would like to be able to clear everything up in one session there is diminishing returns as we keep working. It takes energy to heal and our systems don’t have unlimited supplies. At a certain point the body doesn’t have any more resources to continue the healing.
I also believe that some issues simply require time to heal fully. I have experienced some clients are only able to deal with a small amount of as issue in each session. The system is worried about safety and sees the issue we are working on as the only thing that is keeping them safe. In cases like this there truly is a limit to the amount that can be achieved.
Many times when we finish a session where we have only done a part of the work the work still feel finished. The client is very happy, very peaceful, and feeling much better. When we look at this through the “one-minute miracle mind set” it is very easy to assume the work is done. In this case we have only dealt with part of the issue or even just one of the symptoms of a core issues.
The client leaves the session feeling great believing they are fully healed. When parts of the issue pop back up again at a latter time they assume that the tapping has failed because it come back.
It is the difference between showing a client how to tap away a cigarette craving so they can tap when ever the craving comes back and tapping for a cigarette craving leaving them to believe they will never need another cigarette again. Sure the tapping provided the relief from the craving, but the underlying issues that is cause the craving more than likely has not been dealt with.
It is very important that we are very clear and up front with our clients in terms of the types of healing that can be expected. Even if something feels great and released in the moment it doesn’t mean that the work is complete. Again, it is an issue of managing realistic expecation.
Conclusion
I don’t want to be a giant wet blanket to enthusiasm about tapping. I just know that when I am presenting tapping to someone new I am not only presenting myself, but I am presenting the whole tapping community. It is important that we keep in mind how our clients and potential clients are hearing the word we are saying to insure they are able to find the help they want and need.
I agree with you,,,,mostly….
My thoughts is when you are doing self tapping, I feel that one has to prep themselves mentaly. In other words just don’t jump into it! Think about if for a few minutes or do some inner thoughts about what you are tapping for. In other words put yourself in the mood.
Yes I also strongly agree that it could take several sessions, but there just might be something underlying
that has to be found out. So many things could the be causing what that person does not know. So maybe the first tapping should be to bring out what the underling problem is.
Ed Tieman
Gene, I totally agree with you, we all live in a world that has been used to instant gratification and results, the downside of which is that we forget to be patient when making changes in our lives. Be it the clearing of past traumas or changing our mindset we need to be realistic about what it is we are trying to achieve for ourselves. Its easy when a person is in distress for them only to see the one minute wonders on our websites and to not look deeper, therefore we have a moral responsibility to ensure that what we put out accurately reflects the overall picture and not just the miracles. Liz
Gene I think you’re completely right!
All you said is true to our personal EFT work and to our work with clients.
I think the real reason here is the desire of being perfect, achieving all our goals as people and therapists. we want to be 100% clear on whatever issue is bothering us! But that’s not life… What you said about the system not being ready to be clear is very much connected to the PR issue. We’re not always ready to bring healing to a certain problem, even if we think we do. I thank you for your big professional help with this article and I hope you discuss similar issues in the future.
— Hello. Thank you so much for bringing up this subject.
I fully agree with you.
As a practitioner-I find myself often, facing this issue and am clear about my understanding of the healing process.
I say that it is true that sometimes miracles happen. Yes they do. I think that it is more common with issues like phobias, allergies or other “local” issues.
But-usually-a deeper process is needed, to get to core issues, to release them, to enable the client develop new skills, to change the APPROACH , and these are things that require time, commitment and patience.
I have worked on myself to release this “uncomfortable” issue and am proud to offer deeper journeys and healing.
Blessings!
Ilana Weiler
EFT practitioner
Israel
I call these breakthroughs ‘awakenings’. I have had several dramatic shifts in my life that were quite profound. It may have appeared at that moment that it only took minutes but the truth is that there were many experiences and perhaps years of anguish and searching that lead up to that one moment of release. I have also experienced a ‘let down’ after these moments. Once the ‘pink cloud’ wears off I realize there is more work to do. It can be depressing when this happens. It would be nice to stay in that super clear state forever. I hope that there is follow up work with these individuals so that they know that if they experience a profound release they more than likely will experience a let down of some kind. What goes up, must come down. There is usually a state in the middle that one comes to that is better than before but not quite where we want to be.
Kristel,
I really like what you said about how much can build to a moment of break through. It is easy for us to underestimate everything that brought this moment forward.
Excellent post Gene.
I think the whole ‘miracle cure’ angle is appealing and seductive to desperate people and so disappointing when it doesn’t pay off for them.
I think changework is usually much more like an exercise program than a miracle cure. Any ‘miracle cures’ that occur along the way are unpredictable bonuses (and who knows how long that miracle cure has been ripening out of view before it drops during a tapping session).
Gene, I just wanted to say that I am so grateful for all this free information that you give. You are such a generous person! It says a lot about you and where you’re coming from with your approach. I am subscribed to quite a few newsletters but get the most out of yours, and Carol Look’s.
I loved this article. I have run into this myself. I had huge breakthroughs, huge releases and months later I realized there was still more to the issue, that I didn’t see then. It all takes time. Certain layers become only visible after having peeled off the ones on top. You can’t hop from one to the other, there seems to be a certain order to it. Greetings from Hong Kong!
Excellent article Gene. It really hits to the core. EFT really is a process and it does not serve us to sell it as an instant remedy. All this Acceptance stuff really is about accepting ourselves as we are, even if things don’t change or don’t improve. Improvement is a bonus.
There is alot to be said for mitigating unrealistic expectations, both those of the client and the practitioner. An authentic way to offer EFT to people is as a technique that really helps them ,can transform their lives over time, with persisitance, perseverence, commitment, through the ups and the downs.
Spiritual develepment doesn’t happen in one fail swoop. EFT like any wholehearted technique invites us to apply it constantly for the rest of our lives.
Thanks so much for this!!
I totally agree – this is the main thing that put me off tapping in the first place – in my own experience deep emotional trauma takes time to tap on and I have found I need to be gentle with myself – little and often. You can’t push the river. And as a counsellor who uses EFT I approach clients with this in mind.