I have to have a very difficult conversation with my boyfriend. It is something that I have needed to do for a really long time, but I can’t bring myself to do it because I am so scared. What can I do tapping-wise to make this easier?

photo by Anders Adermark

Speaking the truth can be a hard thing to do. Sometimes we are worried that we are going to hurt someone else with our words. Other times we are worried that they are going to be mad at us. These feelings are natural because we want to keep others safe and we want to keep ourselves safe.

Here are three of the things you can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping on before you talk to your friend to make it easier. Before each round of tapping, check to see how much of a concern each of these three areas are. If you haven’t cleared the worry, do the tapping again.

Tapping to ease your nerves:

The conversation that I am going to have might be hard . . . I am going to have to say things that the other person might not want to hear . . . I am going to be saying things that are going to be hard to say . . . I choose to know that I need to have this conversation . . . I have been carrying this around for a long time . . . it is a burden that I need to let go of so I can heal and grow . . . to become who I truly am . . . even though it is going to be hard . . . by saying what needs to be said . . . I am going to get my thoughts and feelings out . . . the person I need to talk to will know where I truly stand . . . this will make moving forward an easier task

Tapping to communicate well:

One of the reasons this might be hard is that I don’t know the exact right words to say . . . or how to say what needs to be said . . . there are moments where it feels like I have a million things that need to be said all at once . . . while other times I have no idea what needs to be said at all . . . it is okay that I don’t know exactly what I need to say . . . I am going to give the other person a chance to ask questions . . . I am going to give the other person a chance to say how they understand what I just said . . . give me a chance to clarify anything that is misunderstood . . . this is not a speech that needs to be just right . . . but a conversation that has give-and-take in it . . . it is okay if I prepare notes before the conversation . . . I can even bring my notes for when we talk . . . so I make sure I share everything I need to share . . . the way I say it doesn’t have to be perfect . . . what is important is that I am understood . . . and I understand where they are coming from . . . it will be a conversation . . . and that is good

Tapping to speak from only a place of love and kindness:

It is important that I share the truth . . . but it is possible for me to share the truth in a compassionate way . . . this does not mean that I am softening what I am going to say . . . or that I am holding back what needs to be said . . . but it is possible to say things in a compassionate way that is still truthful . . . I can consider how I would like to hear this type of truth from a friend . . . I am not responsible for how they react to the truth . . . their emotional state is their choice and their responsibility . . . but I can share what needs to be shared in the spirit of love . . . of loving myself . . . and loving others.