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5-Day Limiting Belief Challenge Day 4: Name the Cost of Staying Stuck

December 24, 2025 by Gene Monterastelli

Related articles and podcasts:

  1. 5-Day Limiting Belief Challenge Day 0: Introduce yourself
  2. 5-Day Limiting Belief Challenge Day 2: Trace It to the Source
  3. 5-Day Limiting Belief Challenge Day 1: Spot the Real Block
  4. 5-Day Limiting Belief Challenge Day 3: Expose the Hidden Payoff
  5. Pod #664: Does staying stuck keep you safe?

Filed Under: Q&A

Comments

  1. Gene Monterastelli says

    December 27, 2025 at 9:42 am

    Name the emotions that come up when naming the cost, tap for those emotions, and share what you learned

    Reply
    • Renee Danielle Talbot @DaniRose fb says

      January 8, 2026 at 1:14 pm

      I have always wanted greater self confidence. And good tapping clients for me…… So I could make some living doing whatI love, as well as what I BE. The cost of not doing what I BE, feels like a slow death every year, my soul light gets dimmer/weaker/flickering out. DESPAIR, HOPELESSNESS. Finally, just not caring because why bother, you wont’ succeed in anything anyway….. and grief. I was given a soul mission and it’s still stalled. Which leads to extreme nightmares, night terrors…
      In the end, feeling closer to a positive four to five on the SUE scale, instead of a negative fifteenish… Much improved.

      Reply
    • caroline mercier says

      January 8, 2026 at 7:52 pm

      same issue as Jeff mentionned a couple days ago. I named the emotions and tapped on them. everything coming up to my mind was refering to my father and the education I received. I found a new path to tap on starting today.

      Reply
    • Jeff Schneider says

      January 8, 2026 at 8:45 pm

      Staying stuck in worry costs me a peace of mind, gratitude, enjoyment, taking more time off from work, which costs me replenishment, rest and rejuvenation, not seeing more of the United States and of the world.
      The change I want is to feel financially, secure and abundant, to enjoy the wealth we’ve created working one and two jobs over 40+ years, to be more generous to myself and my wife and daughter, to appreciate how my efforts and grace resulted in many years of a high six figure income.
      Worry and holding on tight, has contributed back and neck pain likely digestive issues and is also affected my wife and daughter (even though they are both well taken care of).
      Now I feel a bit sad and also quite hopeful and very grateful for the healing work. I’ve done this week.
      Thank you, Gene 🙏

      Reply
    • Kitti says

      January 8, 2026 at 11:19 pm

      Emotions that come up for me when naming the cost:
      – sadness
      – frustration
      – fear

      Reply
    • Christine N says

      January 8, 2026 at 11:25 pm

      Homework done. The cost of staying the same is anger at myself and at not getting my wants and needs met. I stay in a Victim Cycle. I feel frustration, overwhelm and hopelessness. I also feel ashamed because I can’t fix myself, I should be able to fix myself. I yawned a lot while tapping. Now I feel empty and sad – listless.

      Reply
    • Linda Boyd says

      January 8, 2026 at 11:26 pm

      Many tears with tapping homework today.
      I searched and found a youtube video on your tapping
      on self love and that helped.

      Reply
    • Jenny Murray says

      January 9, 2026 at 2:45 am

      Lots of emotions – fear, frustration, overwhelm, critical voice etc etc etc
      When I did tapping thin line “I don’t need to shame myself into change” – I literally read as “I need to shame myself into change!!!” And starting laughing at myself at how ingrained my negative, critical voice is!

      So extended tapping to acknowledge my feelings and remind myself – I am safe – I am loved – I can be kind to myself

      Reply
    • Tom Graham says

      January 9, 2026 at 6:05 am

      fear of being alone/abandoned by friends or family or I abandon others with changes i have to make.

      Reply
    • Ronda says

      January 9, 2026 at 7:20 am

      Homework completed.

      Reply
    • Katie says

      January 9, 2026 at 8:05 am

      All done

      Reply
    • Sarah says

      January 9, 2026 at 8:29 am

      First things first.
      As Gene suggested in the Q & A, i tapped wordlessly several times a day, to ease my nervous system.
      I try to let go of wanting to folliw the rythm of the homework.
      During the day though i notice that i am processing the input of the online sessions.
      To my own surprise a got a sudden insight when i woke up too early this morning.
      I got a clear indication of what is the first action for me to focus on.
      It is not the much too big step of ‘getting back work’.
      It is a step much closer to me: speaking up in my relationship, no matter what my partners reaction might be.
      I was relieved when this insight came to me.
      The cost of not speaking up is carrying a lot of anger with me, getting frustrated, falling out of love, not deepening the relationship although that’s what i want.

      Reply
    • Danielle DuBois says

      January 9, 2026 at 9:48 am

      THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all the icky, lousy, crappy, evil, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot situations, circumstances, feelings and emotions.
      BABES! These are in our faces BECAUSE they so desperately want our attention, they WANT to be healed and released from the prison within us.
      Just as it is so freaking courageous for YOU to ask for help, to ask for healing, how deliciously COURAGEOUS it is for them (yes, recognizing such feelings, situations, etc. as actual beings/entities) to show themselves to be healed.
      WE GOT THIS!
      XOXO

      Reply
    • Bodo Codreanu says

      January 9, 2026 at 9:48 am

      I felt that Im looking for revenges everyday, just to have the opprtunity to stay in ager as much time as needed to fuel me with energy…
      On the other hand I found out that Im keeping myself away from my goals because I feel that my potential is wasted, so this is good fuel to feel angry and frustrated everyday….

      I really need the prize for today – a private session with you, Gene :))

      Reply
    • Sallie Eggers says

      January 9, 2026 at 10:27 am

      I tapped through the script twice giving a few minutes in between each session. The first tapping I felt frustration and then rage when childhood memories popped up. I felt them and I chose to continue to tap even though I was afraid of getting stuck in the rage, eventually this led me into greater ease. This helped me better accept a deeper felt level how being in the NOW through tapping is and will continue to lead me to ME. The second round of tapping led me into greater ease in my body. My shoulders and jaw relaxed, I felt more grounded and was happily able to say and remind myself that: that was then here is the TRUTH NOW in the NOW!!!

      Reply
    • Victoria says

      January 9, 2026 at 11:05 am

      Done, so much coming up that seems obvious, but wasn’t “visible” until now.

      Reply
  2. Katy says

    January 8, 2026 at 12:41 pm

    Emotions coming up:
    A wall of protection appears inside me as I evoke the bodily sensation of how it feels to relate to other people when I have this shameful condition. Whoa. So I feel Shame. Sadness.. Grief. Anger. Then I tapped.

    During tapping, the line that hit was “That clarity matters… Because I don’t need to shame myself into change…”

    A few lines later, I could not move past the word “money” for a long pause as I sat in shock of the clarity. I learned this entry topic about food and nourishing myself with vital life food is somehow related to money! OF COURSE!
    I also learned this food topic had been creating a loss of connection to the people who are important to me. This makes me very sad. Heartbroken, even.

    So I tapped the script again.
    And now I feel a little more ready, a little more willing, a little more free :)

    Thank you, Gene!!!

    Reply
  3. Christa Lynn Bates says

    January 8, 2026 at 1:10 pm

    ✅ done!

    Reply
  4. Shay Michelle Davis says

    January 8, 2026 at 2:22 pm

    Overwhelming grief is all I have the words for. I’m so sad.

    Reply
  5. Iris says

    January 8, 2026 at 3:23 pm

    No emotions, just lots of yawning and getting chills.
    But I feel I’m ready to change, ready to claim my pleasure.

    Reply
  6. Michele says

    January 8, 2026 at 5:21 pm

    Homework done. Thank you Gene.

    Reply
  7. Terri says

    January 8, 2026 at 6:01 pm

    Not taking action is costing me health, energy, relationship and trust
    The emotions are frustration, sadness, irritation, lack of self-confidence and embarrassment.
    After tapping I feel more open, lighter, clearer about the Grace that I can give myself, as I would to others.

    Reply
  8. Shanon says

    January 8, 2026 at 6:11 pm

    I feel immense sadness for all the time I’ve wasted in my life being stuck.

    Reply
  9. Ellen says

    January 8, 2026 at 6:42 pm

    Sad, sad it’s holding me back

    Reply
  10. Jeanne subialka says

    January 8, 2026 at 8:36 pm

    Ok, emotions coming up around this change I want and the cost there in: judgement, fear, resentment, feeling a failure, frustration, especially that I can’t seem to do what’s needed to change, anger, sadness, guilt, recriminations that I am stupid, unable to do things others can. So big cost is lost opportunities and giving up. Spending heaps of money and time avoiding the problem. Generally feeling like a defective loser and a failure. Since I did lots of tapping along the way and think on it and do some willingness to.change processing, its hard to say what effect tapping had specifically. Its all about scarcity patterns I think. Identity issues. The usual. I am at least witnessing all this. That’s big. But think I’m resisting being ok, somehow that’s not wise. Safe, something. Not there yet.

    Reply
  11. Sue Beltran says

    January 8, 2026 at 9:30 pm

    Homework: The cost of taking no action to improve my physical state would be….catastrophic to my lifestyle. It popped up as I tapped that each day of inactivity causes more stress as aches and pains increase. This could snowball and effect not only daily life but future trips, etc.

    I’m excited to have these insights to tap on going forth.

    Reply
  12. Rachel says

    January 8, 2026 at 9:39 pm

    Staying in fear and resistance of physical intimacy leads to feelings of guilt and shame and costs me emotional intimacy with my husband. After tapping on it the emotions eased but I also noticed an urge to take action by speaking with my husband about it, which replaces a fear in speaking with him.

    Reply
  13. Nell says

    January 8, 2026 at 9:41 pm

    Done…and tapping to be continued when I’m in a better resource state.

    Reply
  14. Sandra says

    January 8, 2026 at 10:03 pm

    I, like others who have posted, feel an overwhelming sadness and some grief as well – for the time I’ve lost, for the things I haven’t been able to accomplish, and for the people, including myself, that I’ve let down. I’ve been stuck in feeling stuck, but now I intellectually, even though not yet emotionally know, it’s possible to move on from this.

    Reply
  15. Jean Marie Bianco says

    January 8, 2026 at 10:25 pm

    Realized i didn’t do my homework… finished it and lost it and did it again.
    Emotion – (I’m sweating) Anxiety critical anger
    Cost: Fuzzy head Breath and then hold my breath.. grunt like… :-(
    Cost: Disappointment Not getting into bed by 10
    Cost: Frustration: always doing things the last minute
    Wasting time on Facebook anxiety left quickly – went to anger
    Emotion: Anger Always signing up for things and not following thru
    Doing to many things… forget what i am doing

    Reply
    • Jean Marie Bianco says

      January 8, 2026 at 10:27 pm

      Felt much better tapping along with each emotion/cost.
      still frustrated while typing this. Never satisfied lately. over stressed. Time for a break i don’t take.
      JMB

      Reply
  16. Sue says

    January 8, 2026 at 10:34 pm

    Well, this is different!!

    While listening to Gene work with a woman who is working with a recent ADHD diagnosis, I realized her descriptions of behaviors she wanted to tap on were exactly the frustrations I have been struggling with for years. For literally the first time ever, I wondered if I might be ADHD, and almost immediately, I knew the answer was yes.

    So I tapped on “I think there is a very good possibility that I am ADHD and have been for a very long time.” The more I tapped, the more relieved I felt. When I finished tapping, I felt celebratory.

    When I tapped for the cost of not knowing until today, I felt more relief than anything else. What I heard from “inside” was FINALLY!!

    Looking at the cost of all the years when I struggled because I didn’t have a clue, I find that it doesn’t feel like time wasted; it feels more like celebrating having done a very good job in spite of an “impediment” I didn’t even know existed. [I should say that I taught/worked with learning disabled / behavior disordered high school students for 15 years a very long time ago. I always worked to help them see where they had made progress even when the LD or BD created issues in school. Maybe I’ve done the same with myself?]

    Can’t wait to explore this area further!! (And I love “my shiny objects have shiny objects . . .” )

    Thanks Gene

    Reply
    • Kate WIthey says

      January 9, 2026 at 9:18 am

      <3

      Reply
  17. Thierry Lagarde says

    January 8, 2026 at 10:38 pm

    DONE

    Reply
  18. Dian says

    January 8, 2026 at 10:55 pm

    DONE

    Reply
  19. Wendy says

    January 9, 2026 at 12:31 am

    Homework completed :-)

    Reply
  20. Jill Landry says

    January 9, 2026 at 12:35 am

    I did the homework. Emotions I tapped on included – frustration/ anger (with myself for not taking the action I want to take, sadness, worry / fear (will I ever be able to change this).It was a lot to look at!

    Reply
  21. Linda says

    January 9, 2026 at 12:57 am

    Costs of staying stuck
    – most important is the ever decreasing sense of self-trust, self-respect and self-worth
    – constant rumination about being stuck, especially in certain areas
    – financial drain in some areas
    – postpone things I want to do (enjoyment!) until I tackle the thing I’m stuck about (but still don’t tackle it!!!!!!)

    Emotions – shame, sadness, grief, despair, frustration, anxiety, panic, anger at self

    During the tapping I started to feel a surge of energy, determination and power and to sense the possibility that things can change. I may not quite be there yet but at least I can see the starting line (I used to run track and cross country 😉)

    There were several lines in the tapping that really ‘spoke’ to me:
    ‘I’ve done the best I could with what I had.’
    ‘I don’t need to shame myself into change.’ (Ouch!)
    ‘I trust that my system is learning to feel safe with change.’

    Thank you Gene.

    I’m starting to view and treat myself and my mind differently. Such a blessing 💚

    Reply
    • Bine says

      January 9, 2026 at 5:47 am

      Linda, thanks so much for sharing – it led me to spot some other stuck areas in my life, and so much of your experience just resonates deeply. Thanks again, super helpful! 😊

      Reply
  22. Leah says

    January 9, 2026 at 1:27 am

    What I learned is that in order to feel more free, I should be spending a lot more time tapping on my negative associated emotions attached to feeling stuck due to staying the same. Using the emotional wheel, I identified 13 negative emotions associated with feeling stuck. I had no idea!

    Reply
    • Anne Y says

      January 9, 2026 at 6:25 am

      Thanks for the reminder about the emotional wheel, Leah. I was struggling to put emotions to some of my thoughts. That might help.

      Reply
  23. Bine says

    January 9, 2026 at 5:41 am

    Oops, I did not see THAT coming… Already in the first line of the script I noticed: this isn’t “just resistance” – with the office decluttering I’m bumping into a decades‑old pattern: avoidance (to feel/stay safe) . I did a few rounds of tapping on that insight, then went back to the script – and what emerged was absolutely gorgeous (ok, still lots of work ahead, but still ;)).

    Key points:
    – I’m (still) sitting in a very tight cage/corset of black‑and‑white, all‑or‑nothing, 0‑or‑100. Part inherited/learned, part desperate attempts to feel safe.
    – Inside that – “trapped/squeezed in/but also: protected” – is my self/my core (bright, colourful, creative, chaotic, gentle, powerful, tender, clear, etc.).
    – Next steps with the office decluttering/rearranging: treat it as practice in “widening the cage and eventually finding the door”. In practical terms: re‑planning from “zapp‑zapp, get everything done in 1–2 days with 10–16 hours/day” to “define small areas, go step by step, schedule breaks, allow rest, do short tapping rounds on overwhelm and/or avoidance, and do quick inner check‑ins: ‘Who’s running this right now – adult me or inner little parts?’”.

    Biggest challenges right now: learning to tolerate the “in‑between” phases (chaos, transition), and remembering patience and trust.
    And: daily tapping with “I’m learning to trust that I’m allowed to live MY version of being an adult (resourced, capable, empowered, as safe as poss etc.)” – starting, of course, with a bit of tapping on “uh oh, even thinking about that totally stresses me out” .

    Reply
    • Anne Y says

      January 9, 2026 at 6:27 am

      I love all this, Bine. Your adjectives to describe yourself are so uplifting.

      Reply
  24. Anne Y says

    January 9, 2026 at 6:40 am

    Some surprising thoughts came up when I was focussing on emotions about the cost. I had some difficulty finding an emotional counterpoint for some of them. I did get to judgement about the thoughts and emotions then judgement about the judgement. I wondered how far back that could continue but it did stop there.
    Also, like many others, I felt sad. That changed physical representation in my mind a few times, eventually becoming a sweet, little, sentient blob that glided off once I felt safe to let it go and thanked it.

    Question:
    Do we need to keep seeking an emotion or is it as effective to tap on thoughts? For instance, I had my costs (one of them was lost opportunities) then looked at emotions. What came up was a thought: “I could / should be further along.” That sounds somewhat like regret. Then came self-recriminations and judgements about who I am eg “I feel incompetent.” That’s not emotion but I tapped on it anyway.
    I wonder if the answer is (classic Gene) “How did it work for me?” but I also wonder if, in future, I should keep delving for the emotion.

    Reply
  25. Jane says

    January 9, 2026 at 7:29 am

    Cost (c) emotion (e)
    C-self doubt-e- great sadness
    C-equal relationship with spouse. E- fear& overwhelm
    So much of the time I cannot think or process how or what to do to change my patterns. I think I don’t have the teachings how to think and be present. Only punish my self with leaving my marriage, in order to feel safe. Crazy making!!! E- fear, overwhelm, powerless ,helpless and hopeless.
    Learn- hopeful, joy, space for my brain to calm down and bring some order to the chaos

    Reply
  26. Veronica Rodriguez Dulin says

    January 9, 2026 at 7:40 am

    What is costing me not to change is getting paralyzed, anxious, frustrated, a toll on my self-confidence, sadness.
    I tapped on all of them and had already tapped on most of them for the last 3/4 months so I have already taken baby steps towards “going out” of my paralyzed state, moving my body, starting to take a few actions in the direction of reconnecting with my agency, tapping every day which makes a real difference!

    Reply
  27. Melinda says

    January 9, 2026 at 8:54 am

    Dramatic change doesn’t have to be dramatic was the phrase I came up with and then I read the day 4 script “ I don’t need to shame myself into change.” One door opens and I realize I’m in the TARDIS. So many new doors.
    All this is to say homework done and thank you for this week. I am glad I upgraded to the VIP, the q and A has been so helpful.

    Reply
  28. Margaret UK says

    January 9, 2026 at 9:13 am

    I don’t believe I can be good at physical things eg tai chi and circle dancing, even though I love them. I’m limiting myself with this belief as to how far I can go with them. The emotions coming up were sadness that I’m cutting myself off from feeling passion and positivity. After tapping on this I felt a shift and could tap on ‘I’m open to new ways to seeing this today! I am open to seeing today how I can change this’. I have a tai chi class shortly today and feel I will go in differently. Thank you for all you do and gift us with Gene

    Reply
  29. Lani Smith says

    January 9, 2026 at 1:25 pm

    Intereferes with so much of how I feel that I either take all these vitamins and accept it or change it now.

    Reply

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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