It makes sense that we would feel grief and sadness after the death of a loved one.
But this is not the only time that we experience grief. The emotion of grief is our system telling us that we are missing or disconnected from something or someone that is important to us.
This could be the end of a relationship, a missed opportunity, or when we realize that we have wasted valuable time by not acting sooner. These experiences create genuine grief, but because our definition of grief may be too narrow, we can miss the opportunity to tap for it.
An emotion that goes unaddressed can simmer beneath the surface and cause us problems later on in life.
This week we are going to tap for the shades of grief we experience that aren’t related to death and dying. As always, below the audio player is a script that you can print out and use anywhere.
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I don’t like feeling grief…I don’t like feeling sadness…Because those emotions are about being in contact with…And focusing on…And dwelling on something I am missing…I’m paying attention to something lost…I don’t like being reminded of loss…I hate seeing opportunities that I was hoping for have passed me by…I’m hurt by the time I have lost because I didn’t take action sooner…The sadness that I am feeling is simply pointing out that loss…It is simply pointing out what has been missed…And because of the nature of sadness…It is often lurking in the background…And because it is not the primary emotion that I feel…I miss it…In this moment I give the sadness permission to have full voice…In this moment I give the sadness permission to be heard…It is good to acknowledge what is lost…It is good to acknowledge what I’m no longer connected to…It is good to acknowledge the things that have been missed…But I don’t have to stay stuck in what is missing…I don’t have to stay stuck in that longing…I don’t have to stay stuck in the sadness…I give myself permission to hear the sadness and let it go…I give myself permission to experience the grief and release it…Even though things have been lost…Even though opportunities have been missed…Even though time has been wasted…I can move forward in a healthy way…I can remember what is lost without being stuck in this sadness…I can say that what is lost is still important and let go of the grief…I don’t have to stay in the grief in order to learn from the past…I don’t have to stay in the grief to say what is lost is important…The sadness has done its job…I can be in this moment and be fully present…Knowing what is important to me…And not be stuck in the sadness.
Fiona says
Hi Gene,
I will definitely share this with someone else. I really appreciate the work you do and have sent a few friends this way over the last few years.