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Your Guilt Is Holding You Back AND It’s Holding Others Back

June 11, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli 2 Comments


photo by id-iom

Over the last few weeks I have done a lot of writing and recording on guilt and shame.

There have been two reasons for this. First, they have come up a lot in client calls as of late. Second, because they have been coming up so much for my clients I have been reflecting on them a lot in my own life. As I have stated before, shame is the emotion I find the hardest to deal with and the most debilitating.

If you missed some of the recents posts on this topic, make sure you check out here, here, and here.

A few weeks ago I attended the Spring Energy Event in the Hudson River Valley in New York. One of the speakers said something really interesting about guilt. (Unfortunately, I can’t remember who said it to give proper credit. If you were there and remember who it was please let me know so I can give credit.)

The statement was, “When you feel guilty about something you are holding the other person in a victim state.”

That is an amazing thought!

When I think I have done you wrong, not only does my guilt impact the way I see myself, but it also impacts the way I see you, and therefore the way I interact with you.

When I feel like I have hurt you, I will call you less, be hesitant in your presence, and be reluctant to spend time with you. Even if you don’t think I have done you wrong, my feeling of guilt about something I have done to you will hurt you now.

For me this is a real eye opener. I know it is good for me to tap for my own guilt, but taking care of myself isn’t always my strongest motivation to do work. But, I am more willing to do things that will help my loved ones.

By understanding that tapping for my own guilt and shame will help others encourages me to tap.

If you are looking for an easy way to tap for guilt or shame you can tap along with me in this short video.

What are your thoughts about seeing our own guilt as something that hurts others? Let me know below in the comments.

Related articles and podcasts:

  1. Guilty v. Regret
  2. Video: EFT For Shame
  3. When Healing Has Consequences
  4. Forgiveness Equals Condoning The Action
  5. An Unexpected Place To Start With Physical Pain

Filed Under: Tap Along Tagged With: Guilt, Shame

Comments

  1. Erin says

    June 13, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Gene, thank you so much for this. I read this right after reading a devotional, and had a small epiphany about relationship with God. I feel a blog post coming on, and I will link back here for attribution and hope that someone else will benefit from your EFT experience and techniques.

    Reply
  2. Patricia says

    June 14, 2013 at 4:08 am

    Interesting point of view Gene, I have never thought on it. Thanks for sharing

    Reply

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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