It is all too common for tappers to look back at their path to healing and think, “What on earth was I doing? I know better than that! Why do I keep making bad choices when I know exactly what to do?”
This comes up most often in my individual coaching sessions when my clients talk about reaching for distracting behaviors instead of tapping.
They know at the moment that the best choice would be to tap, but instead they doomscroll social media, fall down YouTube rabbit holes, reorganize their spice rack (again), or mindlessly eat a bunch of unhealthy crap.
Annoyingly, this does make sense, taken from the perspective of trying to keep themselves safe. Actor and writer Tom Lennon described it perfectly in an interview by Kevin Pollak on a book tour. When Kevin asked if he liked to write, Tom said something to the effect of, “You will know I have a writing deadline coming up because my kitchen floor will be so clean you could perform surgery on it.”
We do not choose distractions because we are weak, or because we believe they are the best choice. We choose them to feel more comfortable at the moment.
The problem is that, in hindsight, we only see that we could have made a healthier choice.
When I find myself in these moments, I don't tap to stop the unhealthy behavior. I actually do the opposite! I tap to do the unhealthy behavior, but the key distinction is I am choosing to do it consciously.
When we move from being unconscious to a conscious awareness of our distracting behaviors, we regain control. And with control we can spend less (or even no) time on distracting behaviors and we don't beat ourselves up.
In this week's podcast I am going to show you:
- How to catch yourself in the moment right before you unconsciously start doing the healthy action
- How to tap with compassion in the moment, without letting yourself off the hook
- How to tap so that you constrain (and often eliminate) the unhealthy behavior
It is an unusual but incredibly powerful form of tapping.
I know you will love it!
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