Archives for October 2018

Back in podcast 292 I chatted with Mark Wolynn about how we are starting to recognize the way that trauma can be passed on from one generation to the next through our genes.

Recognizing that some of our issues have nothing to do with our own experience is useful because it offers us a new way to approach the work we are doing with tapping. In addition to the genetic component of trauma, our emotional understanding of our issues is also influenced by the generations before us.

I have seen this time and again with my clients where they feel it is unsafe for them to heal these family patterns. The thinking goes like this: the trauma we are feeling unites our family and if we choose to heal this trauma, then we are abandoning our family. Healing our trauma means risking breaking an important family connection.

This week we look at how we understand generational trauma and the sense of family connection it creates, helping us to recognize when we are sabotaging our healing.

I have also included a tap-along audio that will help you to recognize that it's possible to heal these generational issues AND do honor to your family.

As always, there is a printable version of the tapping script below the audio player.

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I recognize the fact that some of the issues I am facing are related to issues that generations before me have faced…And because these issues have been around for so long…There's a part of me that is identifying with this problem…There's a part of my family that's taken its identity in this problem…I am worried that if I take the time to truly heal this…I will disconnect myself from my family…And I'm going to say I'm better than my family…That I'm going to be leaving them and this identity behind…Because they are stuck in this and I no longer am…But I choose to recognize the fact that healing my wounds does not disconnect me from my family…Many who have come before me have worked hard to give me a chance at a better life…So I don't have to stay in this place…Healing these issues is not disrespecting my family…Healing these issues is doing honor to my family…I'm acknowledging what they have done to put me in this position…To do this healing today…I recognize the fact that this healing isn't only about me…It's also about all those who came before me…I choose to take this opportunity to pass this healing back and share it over the generations…I recognize the fact that this is an opportunity for me to heal myself…I recognize this is an opportunity to share that healing with others…My healing is an opportunity to share with all those who came before me.

It makes sense that we would feel grief and sadness after the death of a loved one.

But this is not the only time that we experience grief. The emotion of grief is our system telling us that we are missing or disconnected from something or someone that is important to us.

This could be the end of a relationship, a missed opportunity, or when we realize that we have wasted valuable time by not acting sooner. These experiences create genuine grief, but because our definition of grief may be too narrow, we can miss the opportunity to tap for it.

An emotion that goes unaddressed can simmer beneath the surface and cause us problems later on in life.

This week we are going to tap for the shades of grief we experience that aren't related to death and dying. As always, below the audio player is a script that you can print out and use anywhere.

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I don't like feeling grief…I don't like feeling sadness…Because those emotions are about being in contact with…And focusing on…And dwelling on something I am missing…I'm paying attention to something lost…I don't like being reminded of loss…I hate seeing opportunities that I was hoping for have passed me by…I'm hurt by the time I have lost because I didn't take action sooner…The sadness that I am feeling is simply pointing out that loss…It is simply pointing out what has been missed…And because of the nature of sadness…It is often lurking in the background…And because it is not the primary emotion that I feel…I miss it…In this moment I give the sadness permission to have full voice…In this moment I give the sadness permission to be heard…It is good to acknowledge what is lost…It is good to acknowledge what I'm no longer connected to…It is good to acknowledge the things that have been missed…But I don't have to stay stuck in what is missing…I don't have to stay stuck in that longing…I don't have to stay stuck in the sadness…I give myself permission to hear the sadness and let it go…I give myself permission to experience the grief and release it…Even though things have been lost…Even though opportunities have been missed…Even though time has been wasted…I can move forward in a healthy way…I can remember what is lost without being stuck in this sadness…I can say that what is lost is still important and let go of the grief…I don't have to stay in the grief in order to learn from the past…I don't have to stay in the grief to say what is lost is important…The sadness has done its job…I can be in this moment and be fully present…Knowing what is important to me…And not be stuck in the sadness.