EFT/Tapping Q and A with Gene Monterastelli - Emotional Freedom Techniques

Archives for May 2013

Why Tapping Q & A Exists

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Tapping Q and A is a labor of love for me. It is a very personal site, written from a very personal point of view.

It is far from the only EFT site out there, and I have never claimed it is the best EFT site. It is simply my point of view on what might be helpful.

From time to time I like to share with you why I created Tapping Q and A, my goals for it, and what you can do to get the most out of the site. This way we are all on the same page.

Why Tapping Q and A Exists

There are 3 reasons why the website, the podcast, and the newsletter exist.

1) To Teach You Something
I work really hard to share the best of the best when it comes to EFT and stopping self-sabotage. You will notice I don’t flood your inbox with lots of affiliate links or sales letters from other people. I only want to share the things that I think are of value and will make your life better.

Before I share anything with you I make sure I know what problem it could solve, for whom it will solve the problem, and what it will look like if that problem is solved. If I can’t articulate all three of those things then I won’t send it.

I love teaching. I love sharing. I want your life to be better and I hope that everything I send works to that end.

2) To Learn Something
One of the reasons I love writing articles and doing interviews for the podcast is because in creating them I learn something every time. I will often sit down to write an article with just half an idea of what I want to articulate, and 90 minutes later I think, “Wow! I didn’t realize that is what I thought.”

Every article or podcast makes me a better practitioner. One of the reasons I create more EFT content than anyone else is because it is part of my own learning process and it serves my clients.

3) To Build My Business
I am not going to lie. This is a business. This is how I make my living. This is how I pay my bills. This is my job.

I want you to give me your money AND I want you to thank me after you have given me your money. Let me explain…

I was talking to a client the other night. She said, “I was so scared to sign up for this program. I have trouble with commitment and I was worried this wasn’t going to work. I am so happy I am doing this. I can feel my life getting better. I am so happy you are working with me.”

She had paid for services, her life was better because of it, and she was happy she had spent the money!

Over 99% of the people who visit Tapping Q and A will never to buy anything and that is perfectly OK. If you show up, use the tools, and make your life better then I will be super happy.

Just know this is a business and I do sell my services and products, so don’t be surprised when you receive a sales letter from me.

What I Expect From You

I know, that looks a bit odd. Why would I expect anything from you? I see this interaction as a relationship. I show up and you show up in the relationship. Here are the things I would ask from you.

1) Use The Tools
As I write this note there are over 500 free resources on the site. There are over 70 hours of audio instruction, over 40 tap-along audios, and over 20 instructional videos.

It does you very little good just to look at the tools on this site.

USE THEM!

Put them into practice. When you heal yourself you are healing the world.

2) Share Something
I have been extremely lucky over the last 6 years to grow the site beyond what I ever thought was possible, but I still only reach a microscopic fraction of the people who could benefit from these tools.

There are people who you can reach that I will never reach. If you see something on the site that you know a loved one could use, please share it.

I am not asking you to spam your address book and forward everything in the site. In a thoughtful manner, if you are so moved, please pass the tools along.

3) Participate
The heart and soul of the site is in answering your questions. That is how it all started. I learn so much from your questions and comments.

If you have a tapping question please let me know. If you read an article or listen to a podcast that resonates for you, then go ahead and add a comment to the site.

When you share your experience the whole community is enriched.

4) Consider Buying Something
There are number of products and services I believe in available on the site. I only offer the things that I think are valuable. Take a few moments to check out these two sites:

My EFT Year

ExpertTappingResources.com

Let Me Know How I Am Doing

I always love to hear from you. I love to hear what is going well and what you need help with. You can always just hit reply to these emails from me. I receive and read all of them.

Let me know how I can be helpful.

Gene

Podcast #112: Discover Why You Are Sabotaging Yourself

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Last weekend I had the chance to speak at the Spring EFT & Energy Gathering (Northeastern USA) just outside NYC.

I was asked to speak on EFT and Self-Sabotage. My talk was about 5 lenses we can use to figure out the core issues of our self-sabotage. After explaining them I share how we can tap for those issues once they are identified.

You can download the handout for the talk here: handout

Please note that the sound quality isn’t the greatest, but it is good enough to get the information across.

Podcast #111: EFT for Smoking w/ Sue Beer

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On some level most people who smoke really want to quit. Even though the will to change is strong in the larger context of their lives, it is really hard to motivate change in the moment because “one cigarette won’t kill me.”

Usually smoking isn’t the core problem, but symptomatic of a larger issue.

In this interview Sue Beer and I talk about how we can use EFT to stop smoking.


Sue Beer

Guest: Sue Beer

Contact: web @ TheEFTCentre.com; twitter @TheEFTCentre; facebook @ The EFT Centre UK

About Sue: Sue originally trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy and is an experienced Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner. Sue uses her eclectic training as well as past experience gained from a very successful business career in her work. She is also a student of A Course in Miracles. Sue has extensive experience working with addictions, recovery and personal transformation – the themes of the workshops Healing the Addicted Heart and Opening to Love. She is the author of “Healing the Addicted Heart – 5 Stages of Transformation with EFT”.

You Don’t Have To Tap Away Your Fear With EFT In Order To Take Action

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photo by Svante Adermark

My life is a little crazy right now. From the outside it looks like I am being really brave in the midst of all the craziness.

I am in the process of moving from Baltimore to Brooklyn, NY. I am uprooting my life to move to the fourth largest metropolitan area in the world, where housing rentals are snapped up in a matter of hours, not days. At the moment I know I am certainly moving but I have no clue where I am moving to.

At the same time I am working on some new things that I will be offering on the website which are the most personal things I have ever shared. As those of you who are part of MyEFTYear.com know, one of my goals for this year was to work on my issues around dating and romantic relationships.

About six weeks ago I came up with a list of 32 fears that I have around relationships. Not only have I been tapping for these issues, I have been videoing myself tapping for each issue. Sometime later this summer I plan to make those videos available for you to tap along to too.

Oh boy are those videos raw and messy. Because of their honesty they are more than a bit embarrassing! And there is the little issue of how emotional I have become in a few of them.

“You really are in the brave space right now!!”
That is what one of my friends wrote while we were chatting online: “You really are in the brave space right now!!”

And the truth is, I’m not really in a brave space right now.

Instead I am having moments of bravery and I am taking full advantage of those moments and acting.

For example, one of the reasons the move to NY is happening right now is because I had to let the property managers of my building know this week if I was going to renew my lease. Had I taken no action, then my lease would have renewed automatically.

To let them know I was leaving I had to notify them in an official letter via certified mail.

I wrote the letter, put the letter in an envelope, and stuck the postage on the outside.

AND then I had a hard time breathing. My head was filled with: “What if I can’t find a place to live? What if I can’t really afford the move? Am I going to wreck the relationships I have with my friends here in Baltimore by leaving? Oh crap…moving is hard!”

So I started to tap. I calmed myself down. I walked to the postal box and dropped the letter in.

Fifteen minutes later I was gripped with panic again.

BUT that was OK because the process of moving had started.

The Fear Doesn’t Have To Be Completely Gone To Act
About eight times a day I feel some (or a lot) of anxiety about the move. But just because the worry is still there doesn’t mean that I have to stop making progress. With each passing day I’m progressing and crossing more items off my moving todo list.

I haven’t had to be brave every moment. I haven’t had to eliminate the fears of everything going wrong.

I have only had to keep the fear at bay long enough to take an action that moves me closer to my goal. Once an action is taken it sets off a chain reaction of events to which I respond.

I now have to move out of my place in Baltimore, which is pushing me forward to take more action.

You Don’t Have To Tap It All The Way To A Zero
A lot of tappers make the mistake of thinking that they have to tap an issue completely away. They think that if they haven’t erased the issue with tapping then it isn’t done and they can’t act until it is.

We only need to tap our way to being able to take the next step towards our goal. We might have to start tapping the moment we have completed that step, but what is more important is the fact that we have acted and are closer to our goal.

When tapping our goal isn’t to be anxiety free (though that would be great). Our goal is to make it possible for us to take the action we need to take to progress.

Sometimes those actions might be made in a state of fear, but they are being taken.

You don’t need to tap your way to total relief.

You just need to tap to action.

(And if you need it you can start tapping again.)

Is My Self-Sabotaging Critical Voice Always Going To Be With Me?

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photo by Steve Corey

This week I was working with my client “Molly”. Over the last few weeks we had been tapping for a number of public speaking sales situations. She said:

“Last week was really great. I felt so much more comfortable in my own skin. I was so much more present to my audience and so much less inside of my own head. But I have a question, will that little voice in my head always be there? It feels like it is less powerful now, but it just won’t go away.”

This is a great question. In the article “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” I showed you how to begin to get a handle on your critical voice. But you will notice I don’t talk about making it go away.

There are two things to keep in mind with the critical voice.

It Is There To Be Helpful
I know it can be hard to believe that the critical voice inside your head that is always beating you up is being helpful, but it really is trying to keep you safe. It’s operating from the assumption that if it points out all the things you are doing wrong, you will then correct your actions and make better choices.

You know as well as I do that it doesn’t work like that. That nagging voice doesn’t usually produce any positive change, it simply brings us down and saps our motivation.

When we do something like this 8 step process we can start to transform our critical voice into something useful.

At first blush it would seem that we just want to silence that tireless, nagging voice, but it can be very useful in pointing out possible obstacles and opportunities.

We Will Keep Trying Harder Things
Even when we have tamed our critical voice and have it under control, it will still be useful to us as we move ahead and aim higher. When we stretch ourselves and attempt new and different things that may be a little scary, our critical voice will show up to try to keep us safe.

The moment my internal voice goes mute is the moment that I have stopped growing and progressing.

Making Sure It Is Helpful
So, to answer Molly’s question directly: No, your critical voice will not go away AND that isn’t a bad thing.

Our aim is to move away from an internal battle and to welcome our internal voice as a watchful ally. In doing this we will feel better about ourselves because we aren’t being beaten up for the inside out AND we will be able to move forward in a helpful way.

I would encourage you to re-visit “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” and start the transformation right now.