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Archives for April 2013

Is The Way You Are Talking About Your Issues Stopping Your Progress?

April 28, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli 1 Comment

photo by Marlon Malabanan

The words we use to describe our world are very important because they impact the way we understand what we are experiencing. The words we use give our experience meaning.

For example, if I say, “Everyone at work hates me!” that will impact the way I walk into the office because I will have my guard up with every interaction.

If a client says this to me, my follow up question is, “Really, everyone?” Most of the time their response is something like, “No, but Jim, Sally, and Devon really have it out for me.”

You can see that when the work environment is described by having trouble with three people v everyone, we would walk in with a different mindset.

All of this came to mind in a recent client session. “Jeff” was lamenting the fact that he was not tapping as much as he would like. As we continued the conversation it was revealed that the reason he was not tapping was because he was worried that there was some big nasty issue under the surface that he really didn’t want to tackle.

That is a perfectly reasonable and common reason that people don’t tap.

Later in our session, as we were talking about his plans to tap over the next few weeks, he said, “I am going to set 30 minutes aside each morning to tap on the big stuff.”

I stopped him and said, “I think you are setting yourself up for failure. You said that you were having trouble tapping on difficult issues and now you are saying you want to go after the big. How about you go after the important stuff? That might be big, it might be small, but it will have high value. That will make it easier to do the work.”

I will admit that it seems like a subtle change, but I think words are that important. The way we talk about the world is the way we will then interact with the world.

Take a moment to think about the parts of your life you are not happy with or the issue you normally tap on. How do you describe those problems? Do you describe them as impossible, inevitable, or overwhelming?

Make a list of all the adjectives you would use to describe your issues, write them down, and note your emotional response to those words.

This is very telling. If there is little or no hope of success, or if you describe the process of healing as painful or overwhelming, then you will live up to those words.

When you see the process as too hard or too painful you will sabotage yourself and you will avoid the work you need to do.

If you change the way you talk about your problems then you will also change the way you respond to them.

I would love hear the words you came up with when describing your issues in the comments below.

Here is a tapping script that will help you when feel like your problems are too big or hard:

I know there are a lot of things I need to tap for…Some of these things feel really big…And because they feel so big I don’t want to approach them…I am worried they are going to be too much…They will take too much time…And too much effort…It feels like hard work going after them…I am not going to do the hard stuff…I am going to do the important stuff…I am going to work on the issues that are facing me right now…They may be old issues…They may be new issues…But they will be the issues that are impacting me now…And by going after the issues that are affecting me now…I will only need to do as much as is needed to move forward…I don’t have to deal with it all right away…Just the things that are holding me back now.

Filed Under: Q&A Tagged With: Sabotage

Pod #108: EFT For Fear of Rejection In The Age Of Invitation w/ Rick Wilkes

April 24, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli 1 Comment

We live in interesting times. Every morning when I wake up I am bombarded with friend requests, invitations to attend events, fund projects, and try new programs. At the exact same time it is possible for me to go through an entire day and not have one single profound connection with another person.

In this conversation with Rick Wilkes we talk about how scary it can be to put yourself out in the world with the intention of making genuine connections when it feels like we will be judged.

This is Rick’s fourth appearance on the podcast. The reason I have him back so often is because he is so insightful! This conversation is one of my favorites and I really encourage you to listen to it!


Rick Wilkes

Guest: Rick Wilkes, LMT

Contact Info: thrivingnow.com, Rick@Thrivingnow.com, 1-304-284-0711 or 1-888-222-3856

Bio: Rick Wilkes is an EFT practitioner based in Morgantown, WV. Over the last six years Rick has worked with more than 1500 clients. He works regularly with individuals and with his Thriving Now Groups.

Here’s what one of Rick’s loyal clients says: “Working with Rick Wilkes both privately and on team calls has helped me greatly to release the past, move more confidently into the future, and mostly to be more joyfully present in the now. Rick’s open-hearted broader perspective, amazing intuition, and great sense of humor always help me to get right to the core and effectively reframe whatever issue I have. Listening to him work with others has helped me to get in touch with stuff I didn’t even know was there and inspired me in my own work with others. It is a blessing and honor to work with such a master.”

Rick’s articles, programs, and products Thriving Now

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Relationships, Rick Wilkes

The Scariest Thing I Have Ever Done With Tapping And How You Can Benefit From It

April 22, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli Leave a Comment

Please read this carefully! I am only making this offer available to 7 people.

This is not one of those fake offers like a business that has been having a going out of business sale for five years.

Only 7 spots! (And you will see why there are only 7 as you read on.)

If you don’t want to read this long note…no worries. You will receive the regular newsletter on Thursday with links to the resources you have come to expect from Tapping Q and A.

Gene

* * *

I don’t know if you have paying close attention to the newsletter and website over the last few months, but there has been a change.

There hasn’t been a change in technique; I am still tapping.

There hasn’t been a change in topic; I am still focusing on how how we can change our lives for the better.

What has changed is how personal I have become.

I Wasn’t Sure About This Change
I would be the first to admit that I didn’t rush into this change.

At first I shared a little more about my own struggles in the newsletter. Then I wrote longer articles about the things I struggled with. In the last few weeks I have just turned on the camera and started tapping.

I didn’t know how you would react.

I thought you might think I was being unprofessional.

I was concerned that you might think I was making it too much about me.

I hoped getting that personal would serve as a good model, but I really didn’t know.

Pleasant Surprise
I was pleasantly surprised by the response. Those articles and videos are some of the most commented upon on the entire site.

This has taught me two things:

  1. When I am honest with you I am a better teacher.
  2. When I am honest with myself I am able to heal and transform at a much faster rate.

I Continue To Learn About The Healing Process (AND Continue To Learn How I Can Be Wrong)
As this process has unfolded, in addition to learning about myself and the value of honesty, I have learned something about the healing process.

Not only have I learned something about the healing, I have learned that something I thought about the healing process was wrong.

Let me explain…

When it comes to using tapping to clear out limiting beliefs and past issues there are two extremes.

At one end of the spectrum there is the Personal Peace Procedure. If you are not familiar with the PPP what you do is write down every bad memory of your whole life and then, one issue at a time, you tap through them all. If you clear everything out then you won’t have anything left to hold you back.

At the other end of the spectrum you craft a list of goals, start working towards those goals, and tap for any resistance or issues that come up. By doing this you will deal with those issues that have the biggest impact your goals.

I was in the second camp.

You will notice I said was… Don’t get me wrong, I still think the idea doing the personal peace procedure sounds as much fun as poking sharp things in my eyes.

What has changed is the recognition that there are some big issues that need to be addressed head on and it is precisely because they are so painful that we never get close enough to trigger them, and therefore they don’t show up in our daily lives.

I have learned that in addition to going after the issues that come up as I name and work towards my goals, I also need to make a concerted effort to tap for these bigger issues.

(Some of those issues are the ones I have addressed in the latest tapping videos, like the one about shame where I get a little misty eyed tear up.)

Some Of The Best Days Ever
As I write this note I am sitting at an outdoor cafe on a sunny Spring day. I am on my way to being in the best shape of my life as I train to do a one hundred mile bike ride at the end of the summer. My relationships with my friends are as close and honest as they have ever been. I am months away from fulfilling a dream that I have had for the last 10 years. I am doing the most enjoyable and most profound client work of my life.

My life is far from perfect AND I still have lots of personal work to do, but I am moving in a upward direction that is so wonderful.

This has happened because of two things. First, I have a clear vision of where I would like to head and second, I am taking the time to go after these deep core issues in an organized way that is producing deep healing.

I want you to be one of 7 people who over the remaining 8 months of 2013 has the opportunity to experience the exact same type of progress as you transform your own life.

I am looking for 7 people who want New Year’s Eve to look like this:

New Year’s Eve
I want you to imagine New Year’s Eve in 8 months from now. You are out with friends and loved ones. It’s about 11:15 PM and everyone is waiting for the stroke of midnight.

During a lull in the conversation someone innocently asks, “What are everyone’s New Year’s resolutions?” One after another people talk about losing weight, going back for that second degree, finding love, getting a new job, or finally getting the house organized.

When your turn comes you just smile and say, “I don’t have any resolutions. My life is getting better and better. I have taken control of my life and don’t need to come up with any resolutions.”

Sound like something you would like to say? (Or at least think?)

Read on…

8 Months To Change Your Life
If you decide to take the plunge, this is what the next 8 months of your life will look like:

I will teach you how to come up with a clear vision for your life AND we will craft that vision in detail.

I will teach you how to break down the larger tasks necessary to achieving your goals into smaller tasks AND come up with a plan for the vision that we have created for your life.

I will make sure the self sabotage ends. Not only will I show you how to stop the limiting thoughts and beliefs, we will knock them out in one-on-one sessions AND I will personally make sure you stay on track.

(This is NEW!) I will lead you through 16 core issues that are at the heart of what is holding you back and we will knock them out one at a time.

It will happen like this:

Part 1: Creating A Vision
You can’t get to where you want to go unless you know precisely where that is. The first step is to create a very clear vision of what you want. We will take an honest look at your life right now, figure out what you don’t like and why you don’t like it, and then create realistic, well-defined targets.

This will be done through personal inventory, detailed interview by me, and a half day session where we will create a clear picture of where you are going. The half day session can be done here in Baltimore face-to-face, via video Skype, or online, according to your preference. All of it will be recorded so you can revisit it.

When this part is complete you will have a clear set of achievable goals to work toward. (Value $1250)

Part 2: Creating A Plan
Once we have clarified your vision we will break the big goals down into discrete, concrete steps, and each of these steps will be placed on a timeline to make certain you know which step needs to be taken next. This will help you to stay on task doing the right thing (not just being busy for the sake of it) and ensure that you don’t have to think of everything all at once to keep you from feeling overwhelmed.

This plan will be our road map. It will help us to find pitfalls and emotional blocks. It will also provide us with some surprises along the way. With a clear plan of action it is easier to be open to new possibilities and opportunities. Every time I have used this planning process I have achieved everything I was shooting for AND more. (Value $950)

Part 3: Getting Out Of Your Own Way
This is the most important work we will do. When we get out of our own way we see the path ahead much more clearly because our vision is no longer blurred by fear and trepidation. The tasks we face don’t feel so big and we start to move forward naturally. This will happen in two ways: by clearing the issues that come up as we move forward, and working on the 16 core issues.

To do this you will have access to:

  • Bi-monthly Strategy Sessions: Every other week we will talk for 45 minutes to review your progress, plan for the next week, see how we need to tweak the plan as new things come up, and tap for any issues or limiting beliefs that are preventing you from taking the steps you need to be taking. To do this I have crafted two tools that will help you stay on track day to day between our sessions. (8 months of bi-monthly strategy sessions, value $1750)
  • Bi-monthly Tapping Sessions: Every other week we will tap for 45 minutes for one of the 16 core issues. (8 months of bi-monthly strategy sessions, value $1750)
  • 15 Minute Fire-ups: As often as once a week when you need 15 minutes of tapping to get motivated to do something or are feeling overwhelmed, we will jump on the phone for 15 minutes of power tapping to get you into the right frame of mind. (8 months of fire-up tapping sessions, value $1150)
  • Email Support: Have a question about tapping, the plan, or how to approach a problem? I will answer every email question within 24 hours. (I have only offered this once before so I am not even going to try and put a $ amount on it)
  • The 10 Steps To Getting Out Of Your Own Way To Get What You Want: These audios will teach you the tools I use for tasks from as small as re-arranging my living room to as big as writing a book. (Value $190)
  • Advanced Tapping Training: These are the best-of-the-best tools I use with myself and with my clients. Even if you will never use tapping to work with someone else, by mastering these techniques you will make your personal tapping time more efficient. (Value $495)
  • One Year Membership To MyEFTYear.com: Unlimited access to the My EFT Year membership site which includes 3 tap along audios a week, one new tapping tool a week, and two teleclasses a month. (Value $199)

Bonus: Share The Love
As an added bonus you will be given three one-on-one sessions with me that you can give to a loved one so they can also enjoy the power of EFT. (Value $435)

Don’t Take My Word For It
Here is what a current client has said about working with me in this way:

One of the most remarkable things about working with Gene is his ability to “get” whatever it is I’m going through and then reframe it in a way that lets me move forward. Here’s what I mean: When I’m working with a painful or difficult issue, I can only seem to describe it using a random, confused, and chaotic stream of thoughts and feelings. Gene is able to absorb and process all of that chaos, zero in on the underlying issue, and then help me see it in a whole new light.

Working with Gene has helped me move forward in two very significant ways:

First, when we initially started working together I was trying to overcome the hatred and resentment I felt towards my father. This had been a lifelong struggle for me, and I had worked with many other practitioners before trying to resolve it. Fortunately, I made tremendous progress with Gene. I say “fortunately” because about six months after starting with Gene, my father had a stroke and ended up bedridden, requiring round-the-clock medical care. I was able to be there with him during this time, and was able to make sure that his last wishes were honored. This would have been inconceivable before I started working with Gene.

Second, after 12 years working as a software developer in corporate America, I finally was able to go out on my own as a freelance developer. Gene helped me navigate the terror and conflicting feelings involved in making, and then sticking with the transition. Here’s the remarkable thing: Instead of giving me the usual “rah-rah, go for your dreams” speech, he cautioned me from the beginning to take a thoughtful, measured approach to the transition, and helped me explore way to make the move in a safe, sane manner.
— Lee, Florida

Why Only 7 People?
As you see in the description above I am offering a lot of time and attention. In order to give those who take up this offer the attention they need and still take care of my other clients, I only have space in my schedule to do this type of work with 7 people.

Unprecedented Access
I have only offered this type of access to clients once before. If you wanted you could hire me for all of these pieces, but it wouldn’t serve you in the same way. By having all of these parts working together over a set period of time you will be setting yourself up for success. This package is worth well over $8000 in value, and if you take advantage of everything that is offered you will get a lot more value out of it than that.

An Investment In Yourself
I’m going to honest: this isn’t for everyone.

This isn’t even for most people.

7 people is fewer than 0.2% of the people who are receiving this invitation through the newsletter. Or to put it another way, only 1 out of every 2000 people who visit TappingQandA.com this month are going to do this.

If you would like to do some tapping on back pain or a fear of heights, this isn’t for you. (I would love to talk to you about crafting a program that will work for you if that is the case. Just reply to this note with questions.)

This program is only for you if you are ready to make a major change in your life.

This is about changing your health, your job, and/or your relationships.

This is about getting out of your own way and stopping your self sabotage for both the big and little things.

This is an investment in yourself because you will be working to change something that will pay off for years to come.

I am offering this 8 months of one-on-one personal care for $4497 (or 6 monthly payments $849).

Like I said, this isn’t for everyone.

This is for those people who are ready to make the move right now and are willing to invest in their own success.

Making Sure We Are The Right Fit
Because this is such a large investment I want to make sure we are the right fit.

If you are interested in doing this program simply reply to this note so that we can set up some time to chat. I want to be sure that I can answer all of your questions and to make sure I am the right support for you.

ALSO, to be blunt: I want to make sure you are committed to transformation. I am only going to be working with 7 people in this fashion and I want to make sure that they are the right people. This doesn’t mean you have to know exactly where you want to go (we will work on that), but you do need to be serious about changing your life for the better AND be willing to do the work to make that happen.

Remember, Only 7 People
The 7 spots will be filled on a first come, first served basis. Email me today if you are interested.

All you need to do is reply to this message or send me a note at gene@tappingqanda.com

If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know so we can talk about it.

I want to know how I can best serve you to get you to where you want to be.

Blessings,

Gene

Filed Under: Notes

Pod #107: When We Care So Much That The World Becomes A Painful Place

April 17, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli Leave a Comment

Most of my readers, listeners, and clients are big hearted people. Not only do they see the obstacles in their own lives, but they recognize the struggle of others.

When we recognize the struggles of others we also open ourselves up to experiencing their pain.

On one hand this allows us to connect and respond to where they are coming from. On the other hand it can open us up to feeling overwhelmed and a great deal of pain when we realize how many problems we are unable to solve.

It is a tricky balance between being open and not being so open that we feel overwhelmed.

Here is how I try to navigate this balance:

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Self Care

Video: EFT For Shame

April 14, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli 20 Comments

For me, the most painful and debilitating emotion is when I feel ashamed of something I have done wrong.

When I feel ashamed, it is because I know I could have done better or I chose the wrong path. Many times I know the right thing to do and still choose the wrong thing. That produces a lot of feeling ashamed!

And as I hate feeling ashamed, I limit my risk. I don’t take chances. Because if I don’t take chances then I can’t make poor choices. And if I can’t make poor choices then I avoid feeling ashamed.

This emotional state is the most powerful source of self sabotage in my life.

A few weeks ago I woke up on a Saturday morning and decided I need to tap for feeling ashamed. This video is the result.

Feel free to tap along with me:

If you would like guidance in helping you to tap regularly come over to MyEFTYear.com.

Filed Under: Tap Along, Video Tagged With: Embarrassment, Shame

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Meet Gene Monterastelli

GeneMonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based EFT practitioner who in addition to work with clients and groups regularly writes and records about how to use the tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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