I have hesitancy (read as fear) when making phone calls. How can I use EFT on this issue?
photo by Jason Nicholls
When we are using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) for any issue of fear there are two basic approaches I use with my clients.
[Note: As always it is best to have a pen and paper on hand to take notes as you do any of these techniques.]
The movie technique is one of the most common approaches for dealing with something that has an emotional charge form the past. Here is longer description of the movie technique.
The movie technique is straightforward. Pick one experience in your past where there is an emotional charge. In this example think back to a time you needed to make a phone call and it was hard to make or you weren’t able to make it at all. This is the “movie” we are going to use.
Give the movie a name, something simple like “calling the radio station”. Play the movie in your head. As you do this, pay attention to what emotions arise.
Pay attention to the emotions that are coming up now as you play the movie. The emotions you feel now might be different from the emotions you felt at the time. We are concerned how it affects you now, not then.
Whatever emotions arise, write them down on your paper. Again, be as specific as you can. It is possible that you have more than one emotion (eg fear, overwhelm, desperation, anger). Write each of these emotions down.
After you have written down the emotion(s), write down why you feel this emotion. (e.g., I am afraid because they are going to ask me to do something I don’t want to do, and I can’t say “no”.)
It is possible to have different reasons for one emotion. You might feel fear, but for three different reasons (e.g., they are going to ask me to do something, they are going to say no to what I asked, they are going to feel I am wasting their time, they won’t remember who I am). If there are multiple reasons for one emotion, write each of them down.
Next, on a scale of 0 to 10, how much do you feel each emotion when you play the movie? It is important to note this for each thing you have written down. If you have three reasons to fear, they are very likely to have different levels of intensity. Rate each one separately.
Now that you have your list of emotions and reasons, pick one to start tapping on. It is important to do this one issue at a time. The most logical place to start is with the emotion that has the highest intensity, but this is not always the case. Trust your intuition.
After you’ve done a round of tapping, re-rate the intensity by playing the movie in your head again. Do as many rounds of tapping as you need to get to zero. Each time you finish a round, replay the movie and re-rate.
Once you have eliminated the first fear/reason/issue, move on to the second. Before you tap on the next issue, check to see if the original levels of intensity you wrote down for the remaining issues are still accurate by replaying the movie again, tuning into these remaining issues. It is important to check these levels because they may have changed.
It’s not uncommon to have lots of different emotions about one memory. When the first is eliminated, the others can be reduced because they are connected. It is also possible, as we worked on issue number one, that none of the others changed at all.
Once you have rechecked all the remaining issues, move on to a second issue. Again, choose the one that makes the most sense to do next. Repeat this process until you can replay the movie, having no negative emotional charges remaining.
To continue the process, either now, or at a future time, pick another memory, repeating the steps.
See yourself in the future doing what you fear.
The process is exactly the same as the process we just did, but instead of playing a movie that is in the past, you are going to make up a movie in the future. For example, in this case, you need to make a phone call in future. Play the movie in your head of what you imagine is going to happen.
Again be as specific as possible with the movie. Who are you calling and why? See yourself looking up the phone number, dialing the phone, hearing the phone ring, hearing someone answer, and hearing the response to whatever you say.
The process is exactly the same. Play the movie, write down your emotions, rate the intensity of each emotion, and tap.
You can repeat this process a number of times with as many future events as you would like to try.