http://tappingqanda.com Answers to the most common (and uncommon) questions about using the tapping protocols to regain control of your health and well-being. Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:00:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Gene Monterastelli and TappingQandA.com EFT/Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli Answers to the most common (and uncommon) questions about using the tapping protocols to regain control of your health and well-being. Answers to the most common (and uncommon) questions about using the tapping protocols to regain control of your health and well-being. No EFT/Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli eftqanda@gmail.com http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/but-i-dont-know-how-to/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/but-i-dont-know-how-to/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:00:36 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2095 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/but-i-dont-know-how-to/feed/ 0 GeneOne of the biggest obstacles we face when we sit down to tap is to know what to tap on. We might have a sense of what we would like to change or how we would like to grow, but the change can feel so large that we don't what steps to take first. In this article AnaMaria Herrera explains that some times the best first step is to decided to make a change, which then leads to a clearer path and the next step. [Note: This article is by AnaMaria Herrera. AnaMaria Herrera, EFT Practitioner and Trainer, teaches EFT fans and practitioners how to get great results that last with Emotional Freedom Techniques. Through her workshops, coaching programs, and products, AnaMaria shows her participants and clients how to use EFT to resolve their chronic conditions and reach their goals.] photo by Thomas Roche There is a lot of things I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner. I don't know where I'll be in 20 years time. And I don't know how to change a flat tire on my bike (I wish I did!) But I do know one thing for sure. That when we focus on an area of our life this is yucky we gain power. We are taking a stand for greatness and change in our own lives. Especially when using the word 'DECIDE.' Say one of these aloud: "I've decided to... ... work on my self -confidence ... focus on my finances so I can have more abundance ... start that online business or go back to school ... have my business/job take a back seat so I can tend to my love life ... lose the weight and have a healthy relationship with food" Feel the power and energy in those words? Even if you don't know HOW you are going to accomplish the goal, the first step is always deciding! When you decide, you're setting energy, attention, and focus to that area of your life. Talk about power! Can I share a personal story here? Some years ago I had a physical condition that conventional or alternative medicine couldn't heal. I remember thinking, "I've tried EVERYTHING!" Being in the health care field I thought I saw every modality there was. But somehow I decided (even though I didn't know the solution at the time) to reach out and try one more time. The act of deciding brought me to a lovely practitioner. What did she teach me? Emotional Freedom Techniques. And the rest, they say, is history. But I had to first DECIDE! YOUR SUCCESS ASSIGNMENT Choose one (1) area that you are going to focus on. Maybe it's in the area of health, finances, or a creative pursuit. Which one feels/looks the most messy or nagging you? Now let's tap together: Even though... I don't know how I'm going to accomplish _____________________ I've deciding to be open to it Even though... I'm afraid to focus in this area because of the sadness/pain/disappointment I feel, and I've tried before, I'm deciding to give myself another chance Even though... I don't know where to begin to have/be/do ______________,I'm intending to draw the resources and support I need to assist me reminder phrases: - I don't know how - I'm deciding to be open - I'm afraid still - what if I fail?- I've decided to move forward, even if I don't know how yet - I need help! - what if I attract the resources and help I need? - I'm deciding I deserve this Deciding can be scary. Lucky for us, we have our secret weapon, EFT, to calm our fears so we are in a confident state to have, be and do what we really want. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/dealing-with-mindless-eating-4-of-10/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/dealing-with-mindless-eating-4-of-10/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 12:00:42 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2045 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/dealing-with-mindless-eating-4-of-10/feed/ 0 GeneOne of the most difficult parts of releasing weight is making changes to how we eat. There are two aspects to changing the way we eat: mealtime eating and between meal eating. In this article we look at the many different ways we can use tapping to deal with mindless eating.[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.] photo by Mo Riza One of the most difficult parts of releasing weight is making changes to how we eat. There are two aspects to changing the way we eat: mealtime eating and between meal eating. When it comes to meal planning: I am not a nutritionist and would encourage you to find the right meal plan that makes the most sense for your goals, body type, age,a nd general health. The mindless eating we do between meals is a different matter. When I am speaking "mindless eating" I am talking not only about cravings but also comfort eating and the eating we do that we are not thinking about at all (such as eating while watching tv). The meal plan you craft for yourself is a very mindful way of eating; therefore, all of the other eating you do is mindless. There are already a number of resources on the site that show the many aspects of mindless eating. Many of these resources talk about a specific type of craving (one even uses smoking as an example), but each of these approaches and examples can be used for all types of mindless eating. How To Kill Craving I have decided (once again) that I need to cut caffeine out of my diet. In the past I have given it up cold turkey but have ended up with withdrawal headaches. Is there a way that I can use EFT to help me kick the caffeine habit in a pain-free way? Kill your Cravings (part 2) Right now I’m having trouble with cravings. There are times I crave Diet Dr. Pepper, but I don’t like the taste. I almost feel like a person possessed. I must consume it even though I don’t enjoy it. How do I use EFT to kill this type of craving? Bridging From Physical Feelings To The Emotion and Memories That Are Underneath (Pod #17) In the podcast I share part of a client session around the issue of quitting smoking. Even if you are not a smoker you are going to find this very helpful and informative. This session provides a number of very clear examples of how we can bridge from a physiological feel (in this case the desire to smoke a cigarette) to thoughts and memories from the past. Zapping Cravings w/ Pat Carrington (Pod #21) One of the most common uses of tapping is weight release and craving control. In this interview Pat talks about the basic steps we need to take to be success in weight release. After giving this overview Pat talks emotional eating and then talks in very specific term about the mindless eating we do and how we can use tapping to deal with the craving eating and the habitual eat (e.g. eating every time we watch tv). In part 5 of this series we will look at what we can do before we get into situation of temptation. Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/tapping-for-your-professional-life/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/tapping-for-your-professional-life/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 12:00:37 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2050 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/tapping-for-your-professional-life/feed/ 0 GeneWe spend as much as one half of our waking hours at work. Not only is it important that we have a way of dealing with the stress of our jobs, but we also need to help manage the way this stress might affect the rest of our lives. In this interview with Pamela Bruner we talk about how we can use tapping to deal with work place stress, how to use tapping to improve our performance on the job, and how to use tapping to keep the work stress from creeping into other parts of our lives.We spend as much as one half of our waking hours at work. Not only is it important that we have a way of dealing with the stress of our jobs, but we also need to help manage the way this stress might affect the rest of our lives. In this interview with Pamela Bruner we talk about how we can use tapping to deal with work place stress, how to use tapping to improve our performance on the job, and how to use tapping to keep the work stress from creeping into other parts of our lives. Listen to or download Podcast #27 Subscribe via iTunes To listen to the podcast click the above link to open player. To download the podcast right click the link and choose "Save As". Guest: Pamela Bruner Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessEasy.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, phone @ (888) 736-0620 About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Success Coach, Certified Firewalk Instructor, Certified EFT Practitioner (EFTCert-I), speaker, author and musician. Following a career as a computer programmer, Pamela built a hugely successful business as a Celtic harpist and singer, recording over twenty albums. She then began doing motivational work in the music community, and became a Certified Life Coach to better work with people in all walks of life. Pamela now works with small business owners and solo practitioners who want to make a difference in the world with their businesses. She is committed to helping people achieve success in all of their endeavors. Resources from this episode: The book Pamala co-edited EFT and Beyond the book plus bonuses http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/limiting-beliefs-about-money/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/limiting-beliefs-about-money/#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:00:42 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2008 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/limiting-beliefs-about-money/feed/ 0 GeneI would like to be more financially successful, but for some reason I just keep making really poor choices. It is almost as if a part of me wants me to stay poor. I don't even know where to begin with this issue. Do you have any suggestions?I would like to be more financially successful, but for some reason I just keep making really poor choices. It is almost as if a part of me wants me to stay poor. I don't even know where to begin with this issue. Do you have any suggestions? photo by Andrew Magill Like lots of issues, when we struggle with financial success it is often because we believe there is some penalty for having more money. On the surface that might seem silly that there is a penalty for having money. Many of these beliefs are not only rooted in our subconscious but are also rooted in our culture. For example, we might fear being rich because a part of us believes that "All rich people are jerks!" We know this not to be true, but think of every rich person as they are portrayed in movies, tv shows, and books. Other than Daddy Warbucks from Annie I can't think of a single nice rich person in fiction. When we recognize these facts it is becomes very obvious on how we might hold this sort of belief in our subconscious. The part of us that is preventing us from being financially successful is protecting us. By keeping us from being financially successful it is keeping us becoming a jerk. I have found that when it comes to this sort of limiting belief the easy way to deal with it is through a kind of conversation tapping where we state both sides of the argument. It might look something like this: All people who are rich are jerks...I know this isn't true...but when you are rich you only think of yourself...I know lots of rich people who have do good work...but you have to step on people to get rich...but not everyone who is rich has gotten rich by stepping on people...it is possible to get rich and help people at the same time...when you are rich you only hang out with rich people and you will forget where you came from...I can become rich and still keep my friends and connections... That is only the beginning of the tapping, but you can easily see how all you are doing is stating both sides of the argument and tapping away. Here is a great list of limiting beliefs about money and financial success published at the web site money-attraction.com 1. Rich people are greedy and dishonest 2. I could become overly dependent on money. 3. It will tarnish my sense of who I am as a person. 4. I’ll become a greedy and uncaring person. 5. I’ll attract the unwanted envy of others. 6. I will do wrong if I become rich 7. I will become a bad man if I have a lot of money 8. It’ll make me stand out and I’ll lose my privacy. 9. If I get rich I’ll abandon my values 10. I can’t be rich and spiritual! 11. If I’m successful, my friends will be jealous and stop liking me 12. I’m no better than my parents, so I shouldn’t make more than they did 13. I might forget what’s truly important and not like the person I’ve become 14. Money is dirty. 15. Money is the root of all evil 16. Money is not spiritual 17. It’s a sin to be rich 18. I am poor but I am a good man 19. I will never have enough money 20. I can’t get ahead 21. I’m not worthy 22. I’ll probably just fail anyway 23. We can’t afford anything we want 24. I’m not smart enough to be wealthy! 25. It is too greedy for me to earn more than ** in a month 26. It is impossible for me to earn so much 27. Friends around me don’t make so much money, so do I 28. Financial success will mean working all the time 29. You have to lie and cheat to get rich 30. It takes too much effort to earn it. 31. Money doesn’t grow on trees! 32. I have to work harder if I want to earn more money! 33. It is greedy/bad/joking to making money easily and effortlessly 34. It is impossible for me to making money effortlessly and easily 35. Getting by is good enough 36. I don’t deserve it. 37. I’m not like those people 38. There is virtue in poverty, and wealthy people are morally bankrupt. 39. Those who have figured out a way to achieve wealth and financial security are just lucky. 40. Only people who have access to large amounts of money from family and friends can be assured financial success 41. There are limits to how one can attain wealth and how much money one can make. 42. Saving money means making money 43. Spending money is far faster than making money 44. I can’t charge too much 45. Never lend money to others 46. I must save money for unexpected things 47. I hate/envy those wealthy people 48. I work to pay for the debt 49. I can’t afford what my wife/someone loves 50. I can’t buy what I like most but the cheapest because I have to save for the unexpected Podcast 15 is all about tapping for financial success. You should also check out 3 Keys To Having and Keeping Finacial Abundance in the Tapping Q & A online store. [Note: As I wrote this article I had a very hard time writing the word "rich". I could easily write "financially successful". Obviously there is a limiting belief I have about the work "rich". I guess I should tap on that!] http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/weight-and-emotion/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/weight-and-emotion/#comments Mon, 25 Jan 2010 13:00:34 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2023 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/weight-and-emotion/feed/ 0 GeneThe extra weight that we hold is often times associated with and symptoms of deeper emotional issues. In this interview Catherine Poole talks about what emotions are most often associated with the different problems areas of weight gain. Once we are able to understand the emotional roots of the weight we are carrying it becomes easier for us to release both the emotional wound as well at the physical weight.[Note: This is part 3 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.] The extra weight that we hold is often times associated with and symptoms of deeper emotional issues. In this interview Catherine Poole talks about what emotions are most often associated with the different problems areas of weight gain. Once we are able to understand the emotional roots of the weight we are carrying it becomes easier for us to release both the emotional wound as well at the physical weight. Listen to or download Podcast #26 Subscribe via iTunes To listen to the podcast click the above link to open player. To download the podcast right click the link and choose "Save As". Guest: Catherine Poole Contact: web @ CatherinePoole.com, web @ QueenOfColor.com, phone @ 276-206-0627 About Catherine: Known internationally as “The Queen of Color”™, Catherine Poole is an expert in color and human response to color. She earned a Master of Fine Art (MFA) from Cranbrook Academy of Art, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, and a Bachelor of Fine Art (BFA) from Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana. Catherine was a professor of color theory and graphic design for more than fifteen years, including nine years at The University of Notre Dame. Her research while at Notre Dame, led to her current work with emotions, energy and color in regard to the human body. Her color theory course included her in-depth study into the affect color has on the human body and how to apply that knowledge to environments, interiors, and products as well as marketing and advertising. Catherine has been interviewed by Redbook Magazine, Woman's Day, Women’s World Magazine, contributing author to Amoena Life Magazine, appeared on "In Style" WBIR-TV Knoxville, Tennessee. Today she is a welcomed guest on radio shows throughout the United States. Internationally, Catherine has lived and worked in Den Haag, Netherlands and periodically conducts presentations and talks in Den Haag and Amsterdam. She also lived in Warsaw, Poland and taught The Philosophy of Color at Warsaw University for both graduate and doctorate students in Philosophy. Resources from this episode: Training Resources By Catherine Poole In part 4 of this series we will look at cravings. Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/not-knowing-where-to-start/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/not-knowing-where-to-start/#comments Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:00:30 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=1959 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/not-knowing-where-to-start/feed/ 3 GeneI am new to tapping and love it, but I don't know where to start. I set time aside everyday to tap. When I sit down to tap either nothing comes to mind or everything comes to mind all at once. I know there are lots of areas of my life that need transformation. Any suggestion on getting started?I am new to tapping and love it, but I don't know where to start. I set time aside everyday to tap. When I sit down to tap either nothing comes to mind or everything comes to mind all at once. I know there are lots of areas of my life that need transformation. Any suggestion on getting started? photo by Jon Marshall One of the misconceptions we have about tapping is the belief that we need to know what we are going to be tapping on before we start tapping. We think, "I need to know exactly the issue at hand and what I am going to use as my set-up phrases before I can begin." Here are few suggestions that will help you when you find yourself in this situation. Tap While You Are Trying To Figure Out What To Tap On Yes, it is true the more specific we are the faster we are going to find results. This does mean that we are going to be unsuccessful while we are being unspecific. As a starting point I recommend that you tap while you are trying to figure out what the issue is you would like to tap on. For example, you know that work is causing you stress. There could be lots of reasons for this. It could be your relationship with your co-workers, a demanding supervisor, a pressing dead line, or work that is unfulfilling. It might even be many or all of these things. It is a good idea to figure out exactly what part of your workday that is causing you stress. Instead of making this two steps, figuring out the issue(s) and tapping, why not do both at the same time. While you are thinking though your workday and all the relationships you have with co-workers you should be tapping. Not only will this help you clarify the issues faster it will also start to bring relief before you do your specific tapping for an issue. This process can be used for any and all parts of your life. You know that you want better health, stronger relationships, success in your work, ease at public speaking, or anything else. Just start tapping, moving from point to point, as you think about this part of your life. I have found when I do this I feel calmer and find my way to clarity of the real issues I need to be working on. Tap On Not Knowing What To Tap On Another very useful tool you can use when you don't know exactly what to tap on is to tap on not know what to tap on. It could look something like this: I know I need to do some tapping...I know tapping has worked in the past...and it can work now...I know the more specific I am about the issue the faster tapping can work...and right now I am not sure what to tap on...but just because I don't know what to tap on...doesn't mean that I can't be successful right now...as I tap and try and figure out what to tap on...I know I am making a small bit of progress....I know I don't need to know all the details of what is at hand for progress...by relaxing about needing to know exactly what I need to work on...will make it easy for me to make progress...therefore I choose to let the problems unfold in front of me slowly....knowing the system will give me the information I need for healing when I need it....the system knows the rate I can heal safely... I have found this sort of tapping bring clarity very quickly to very specific areas that we can tap on. Stress About The Issus What I have found in my practice (both in dealing with my own issues and with working with my clients) is often times the stress about an issue/situation is much trouble some than the issue/situation itself. Often times when we are able to release and relieve the stress we have around an issue we are able to look at what is going on much more objectively and find an outcome that is very satisfactory. To that end, when we don't know where to start with an issue and great place to start is with the stress you feel about the situation. In many cases I have found just by dealing with the stress of the issue we can find as much as 80% (and often times total) relief before we even deal with the issue at hand. Here is a list of great ways to start off dealing with an issue. Reframes for stress: I don't have to deal with this all at once I don't have to deal with all of these issues all at once It might not be the big deal I am making it out to be I have dealt with things tougher than this People really aren't thinking of me as much as I think I don't have to go diving into all the issue to heal this The stress is just a signal telling me something is wrong Things are not going to be this way forever It might think it helping by running, but it is going to get worse by running from it I can release this issue without knowing what the root causes are I can release this issue without having to know what the original event was I can release this issue without having to dive in the a past painful memory If you follow these three approaches you will find your way to what the specifies are you need to tap on as well as to relief quickly with tapping. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/psychological-reversal/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/psychological-reversal/#comments Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:00:03 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2033 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/psychological-reversal/feed/ 2 GeneOne of the most often used terms and at the same time most misunderstood term used by people in the tapping community is "psychological reversal". In this interview, in easy to understand language, Gwenn Bonnell describes what PR is, what is symptoms are, and many techniques for clearing it. One of the most often used terms and at the same time most misunderstood term used by people in the tapping community is "psychological reversal". In this interview, in easy to understand language, Gwenn Bonnell describes what PR is, what is symptoms are, and many techniques for clearing it. [Note: Out of all of the interview I have done in the last year this is the one I personally learned the most from.] Listen to or download Podcast #25 Subscribe via iTunes To listen to the podcast click the above link to open player. To download the podcast right click the link and choose "Save As". Guest: Gwenn Bonnell Contact Gwenn: web @ TapIntoHeaven.com; email @ gwenn@tapintoheaven.com; phone @ 954 370 1552 About Gwenn: Gwenn is a writer, teacher and lecturer. She offers private sessions and training and workshops at Heaven On Earth in Davie, Florida. A graduate of the College of Health and Human Development, Penn State University, she is a member of the ACEP, Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and has trained personally with Gary Craig (developer of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques), Dr. Larry Nims (BSFF, Be Set Free Fast), Tapas Fleming (TAT, Tapas Acupressure Techniques), Donna Eden and David Feinstein (Energy Medicine), Sandi Radomski (Allergy Antidotes), Alan Handelsman (Muscle Testing), Paul Burdelski (Touch for Health), and Piilani (Huna Kane). http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/my-goal-isnt-believable/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/my-goal-isnt-believable/#comments Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:00:34 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2075 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/my-goal-isnt-believable/feed/ 0 GeneOne of the most difficult things about weight release is believing that we can achieve our goals. Often we are often carry the baggage of failed past attempts at weight release, a family history of carrying too much weight, and the fact that we have held the weight for so long it seem that is stuck and can't possibly be released. In this article we look at the different reasons we fear failure (not just for weight release) and how we can use tapping to move past these fears.[Note: This is part 2 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.] photo by Hans Gerwitz One of the most difficult things about weight release is believing that we can achieve our goals. Often we are often carry the baggage of failed past attempts at weight release, a family history of carrying too much weight, and the fact that we have held the weight for so long it seem that is stuck and can't possibly be released. In my own life there are few emotions that I enjoy less than the feeling of failure. Often when we fail we have to face the fact that we are incapable of doing something, we feel we have wasted time and effort, and that others are going to see us as less because of our failing. Because of these fears it is very easy to see why it is so hard for us act. There is a part of us that sees the consequences of us failing. The way it protects us from feeling all of these emotions associated with failure is it creates situation where we self sabotage ourselves. In the short term it is keeping us safe from feeling bad about failing, but in the long term it is preventing us form achieving our goals. This is not only true for weight release, but can also be true for any goal that we are trying to achieve. For this reason I think one of the most important steps we can take when we are tapping for a change in behavior or tapping to help us achieve a future goal is to tap for clearing the fear of failure. Here are some tapping patters for some of the most common reasons and emotions associated with failure. Fear Of Failing I don't want to fail...failing is no fun...when I fail at any task...it points out my short coming to myself...and to others...when I try something and fail...it is a giant waste of time...I could be using this time at something I am good at...but I choose to know that failure is not inevitable...it is possible that I might not fail this time...I don't always fail...I also know that there have been times in which I have failed that have been good for me...I have learned valuable lessons in may of my failings...if I only try the things that I know are going to work out...then I am going to try nothing new...I am never going to grow...there are times in my life where I have tried new things...and they didn't work out the way I would have liked...but they did work out in a way that was beneficial for me...there are also many lessons that I can learn in failing...this does not mean I need to seek failure out...but I can takes this moments of failure and use them as a way to grow and develop...I also might surprise myself by what I am able to achieve...there are times in which I have underestimated myself...and what I can achieve...I give myself permission to try...I give myself permission to know it might not work out...but it is still worth trying...because if I succeed there is a chance for growth...and if I fail there is a chance for learning...both are good for me in the long run. I Have Failed Before At Weight Release I have tried to release weight in the past and have failed...I failed before and I am going to fail again...there is no reason to try...because it is going to be a giant waste of time...I might as well just be resigned to the fact this is the way it is...but I choose to know there are times in the past in which I did not succeed the first time I tried...there are times where I learned many lessons before I got it right...there were also times where I made the same mistake over and over again before I got it right...but I did get it right...there are many times I have tried in the past to release this weight that did not work...and there are lots of reasons for this...but this is a new time...and a new way...if I try and release this weight and fail I am still in the same spot...but if I try and release weight and succeed that is progress I want...so by trying I am not going to make it worse...but I do have a chance to make it better....I choose to learn the lessons from all the attempts in the past that did not work...and use this knowledge to move forward in a new way...I know that the frustration of not being successful and choose to take the frustration of failure in the past...and transform that energy into a motivating energy to make better choices...I it no longer beating me up for the past...but now becomes my greatest cheer leader and encourager...moving me forward in a way that will help to breed success Everyone In My Family Is Over Weight So I Will Be As Well Everyone in my family is over weight...it is just how we are...you can't fight your gene pool...some people are just over weight because that is how there body is made...I have seen many family members try and release weight in the past and failed...therefore there is no hope for me...but I choose to know there is more to weight than genetics...there are whole groups of people in my family who have choose the buy into the same world view...and are creating a situation which makes it ease for all of them to continue to hold the extra weight...this does not have to be my way...there are other parts of my life in which I have choose an different path than the rest of the family...we are not all exactly alike...by choose to release weight I am not dismissing or abandoning my family...I am still part of the family...I am just choosing my own way...maybe my choices will model for the rest of the family that this sort of transformation is possible...just because it has been this way for my family doesn't mean it has to be this way for me...I know weight is more than just genetics My Goal Is Too Big There is no way I am going to achieve my goal...because it is just too big...it would be one thing if I was trying to release much less weight...but I am so far behind there is no way I am going to catch up...it is too late because the goal is so big...but I choose to know that weight release it not for the short term...to create a change for my entire lifetime...I am not only effecting today...but am effecting my whole life...this is process that is going to happen little by little...as much as I would like to release all this weight all at once...it is much healthy for me to release it a little at a time...it is safer for my body to release weight in a natural way...because I can't release it all at once I don't need to worry about releasing it all...I have satisfied in the fact that my goal in the short term can be much smaller...as I achieve each of these smaller short term goals...I will be working to my long term goal...by working to my long term goal in small ways...it becomes much more achievable...therefore my long term goal is not too big...because it is something that will take time...but will impact the rest of my life. In part 3 of this series I interview Catherine Poole about the association of specific emotions and our problem areas. Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/what-if-i-dont-completely-love-and-accept-myself/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/what-if-i-dont-completely-love-and-accept-myself/#comments Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:00:03 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=1945 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/what-if-i-dont-completely-love-and-accept-myself/feed/ 3 GeneGary Craig and many other practitioners use the phrase "I love and accept myself" sometimes adding "deeply and completely" in their set-up phrases. I don't know about you, but I've come in contact with quite a few people that have a real aversion to this statement. Seems to me, that if we loved and accepted ourselves, most of our 'problems' would not exist in the first place. Do we need to use this phrase while tapping? Gary Craig and many other practitioners use the phrase "I love and accept myself" sometimes adding "deeply and completely" in their set-up phrases. I don't know about you, but I've come in contact with quite a few people that have a real aversion to this statement. Seems to me, that if we loved and accepted ourselves, most of our 'problems' would not exist in the first place. Do we need to use this phrase while tapping? photo by Shena Pamela This is a great question that I get a lot. Here are 4 thoughts to consider when choosing the phrases we are going to tap to. 1) The words themselves aren't magic This is the piece of advice I give most often to beginning tappers. When most of us learned tapping for the first time we were taught to tap on a point and to say a phrase, leading us to believe that to get relief what we need to do is say a phrase and tap. In reality the way we find relief while tapping is to focus on an issue and to tap on the points. One very effective way of focusing on an issue is to say words out loud about the issue, but it is important to remember this is not the only way to focus on an issue. I share this to say your focus is most important. There are times with a specific word, phrase, or reframe is going to help us to focus with laser like focus, while other times no words are need at all. The nice thing about tapping is it requires very little time and there are very few consequences for trying something new. My advice is to try lots of different phrases and find the ones that work for you. If something is not ringing true, try something else. It only cost you a few seconds to try a new phrase. If the phrase "I love and accept myself isn't useful then look for something else that is useful. [For more information on the types of information that we get from each round of tapping and what to try next check out Feedback: What we can learn from each round of tapping] 2) Even If We Don't Believe The Words We Say They Can Still Be Helpful This again builds on the principle of the place we focus being more important then the words we say. Often times saying words we don't believe will help us to focus in on the place we want to do work. Let take a weight release situation as an example. For this example let's say we want to release 35 lbs and there is a part of us that doesn't think it is possible. I could tap on the phrase: "There is a part of me that doesn't believe I can release this weight." Tapping on a phrase like this could very easily help me to tune into the part of me that is hopeless about releasing weight. I could also say the exact opposite and achieve the same result. I could say out loud "I know I am going to release these 35lbs!" and the little voice inside my head is going to respond "No you are not! There is no way you are going to release this weight. It is hopeless for you!" Here my focus is not on the words that I have said, but my emotions of it being hopeless. In both cases I am tapping on the same issue even though I said opposite phrases. The same can be true with the phrase "I love and accept myself". When I say this phrase out loud and focus on the emotions that follow I am going to be doing useful work towards my healing by tapping. This is especially true when I don't believe the phrase. 3) There might be a reason that you don't like the "love and accept myself" vocabulary I find it very interesting when people have a very visceral emotional reaction to something. When there is an emotional reaction it means there is a nerve being struck. For example, you call me too obsessive about sports. I might disagree with you on this point, but you are not going to get an emotional response from me because I don't worry about this in my own life. On the other hand, if you were to call me self absorbed you would get an emotional response from me. I would feel attacked, hurt, and offended. Not because this is not true, but because I struggle with this part of my personality. I would feel attacked because there is a wound around this area of my life and you just bumped into that wound. I believe one of the main reasons people don't like "the love and accept myself" vocabulary is because it hits so close to home as something a part of them can't believe. We don't like saying these words because they are reminding us of our own failings. This brings us back to point number two. By saying something we don't believe it gives us a chance to emotionally tune into the part of our personality that doesn't believe the phrase. If there is a very strong "I don't like saying I love and accept myself" reaction then this is a great area to investigate when we are tapping on our own or with a practitioner. 4) Other phrases to try Sometimes somethings can be so emotional it is not useful or safe for us to tune into it. One of the reasons I love Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and tapping is it allows us to slowly creep up on a problem without having to dive in to the most painful part of the issue. It is possible for the phrase "I completely love and accept myself" to be too emotionally changed to be useful. It might simply cause enough emotional pain that it set us off for the rest of the day or, as in point 3, that we don't do the work because it is so uncomfortable to think about "loving and accepting" ourselves. If the phrase "I love and accept myself" is too much to use you can try these alternatives instead. I give myself permission to love and accept myself I might not believe that I love and accept myself, but someday I know it will be possible to love and accept myself I am worthy of loving and accepting myself if it don't right now I give myself permission to one day love and accept myself I give myself permission to believe that is it is possible to love and accept myself It is safe for me to love and accept myself There is a part of me that fully love and accepts me even if I don't have access to that part at this moment. Even if I don't love and accept myself, God does love and accept me. Even thought I am not perfect I love and accept myself This work is helping me to love and accept myself http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/fear-anxiety-safety-and-freedom-w-rick-wilks/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/fear-anxiety-safety-and-freedom-w-rick-wilks/#comments Sat, 09 Jan 2010 13:00:54 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=1965 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/01/fear-anxiety-safety-and-freedom-w-rick-wilks/feed/ 1 GeneWriting a description of an interview with Rick Wilkes is always a difficult task. On the surface there is the topic at hand for the interview, but when we are chatting things move more much far afield into deep issues of healing and well-being than just the topic at hand. In this interview we talk about the spectrum from feeling completely and irrationally unsafe to complete and total inanition. Anytime there is resistance to change it is really important to ask "Do we feel safe making this change?" In the interview we talk about a number of ways of framing this question to make is more accessible for every issue. In addition to talk about extreme fears and uncomfortable situation we talk about finding space that is safe to heal and what true healing means. This is not just about eliminating fear, but being in a space of feeling alive in every way. Writing a description of an interview with Rick Wilkes is always a difficult task. On the surface there is the topic at hand for the interview, but when we are chatting things move more much far afield into deep issues of healing and well-being than just the topic at hand. In this interview we talk about the spectrum from feeling completely and irrationally unsafe to complete and total inanition. Anytime there is resistance to change it is really important to ask "Do we feel safe making this change?" In the interview we talk about a number of ways of framing this question to make is more accessible for every issue. In addition to talk about extreme fears and uncomfortable situation we talk about finding space that is safe to heal and what true healing means. This is not just about eliminating fear, but being in a space of feeling alive in every way. Listen to or download Podcast #24 Subscribe via iTunes To listen to the podcast click the above link to open player. To download the podcast right click the link and choose "Save As". Guest: Rick Wilkes, LMT Contact Info: thrivingnow.com, Rick@Thrivingnow.com, 1-304-284-0711 or 1-888-222-3856 Bio: Rick Wilkes is an EFT practitioner based in Morgantown, WV. Over the last six years Rick has worked with over 1500 clients. He works regularly with individuals and with his Thriving Now Groups. Here's what one of Rick's loyal clients says: “Working with Rick Wilkes both privately and on team calls has helped me greatly to release the past, move more confidently into the future, and mostly to be more joyfully present in the now. Rick’s open-hearted broader perspective, amazing intuition, and great sense of humor always help me to get right to the core and effectively reframe whatever issue I have. Listening to him work with others has helped me to get in touch with stuff I didn’t even know was there and inspired me in my own work with others. It is a blessing and honor to work with such a master.” Links & Resrouces From Episode: Rick's articles, programs, and products Thriving Now Pod #1: Using EFT to heal without moving too far too fast w/ Rick Wilkes Vibrational Scale Chart