http://tappingqanda.com Answers to the most common (and uncommon) questions about using the tapping protocols to regain control of your health and well-being. Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:17:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Gene Monterastelli and TappingQandA.com EFT/Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli Answers to the most common (and uncommon) questions about using the tapping protocols to regain control of your health and well-being. Answers to the most common (and uncommon) questions about using the tapping protocols to regain control of your health and well-being. No EFT/Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli eftqanda@gmail.com http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/top-9-articles-topics-update/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/top-9-articles-topics-update/#comments Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:15:22 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2302 EvEFT. Here are nine common topics, most of which are based on conversations with clients and e-mails from readers, dealing with why tapping works, what a person can expect during the healing process, and how to improve one's tapping practice. Please keep the questions coming.]]> http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/top-9-articles-topics-update/feed/ 0 GeneOver the lifetime of this web site I have been keeping a very close tab on the most frequently asked questions and the most popular articles about tapping/EvEFT. Here are nine common topics, most of which are based on conversations with clients and e-mails from readers, dealing with why tapping works, what a person can expect during the healing process, and how to improve one's tapping practice. Please keep the questions coming. photo by La Famille Rapp Over the lifetime of this web site I have been keeping a very close tab on the most frequently asked questions and the most popular articles about tapping/EvEFT. Here are nine common topics, most of which are based on conversations with clients and e-mails from readers, dealing with why tapping works, what a person can expect during the healing process, and how to improve one's tapping practice. Please keep the questions coming. * * * * Why Do I Have To Tap? When I share tapping with people the most common reaction is skepticism, which makes perfect sense. Based on their past experience it does seem unreasonable that tapping on their body would make more of a difference than thinking up new solutions. In this three-part series I explore why tapping is useful and often much more useful than brainstorming. Why do I have to tap? (part 1) Why do I have to tap? (part 2) Why do I have to tap? (part 3) Why Do I Say Negative Phrases When Tapping? One of the most common questions I get about tapping is about negative phrases. Clients are very worried that by focusing on the negative aspects they are going to reinforce them. When something is not right in our life we are going to focus on the negative aspects regardless because when we want better we notice what we would like to change. Tapping doesn't reinforce these ideas, but uses them for transformation. Can I Tap In Something Bad? A Way To Use Negative Thoughts To Clear Issues Why Do I Have A Hard Time Sitting Down To Tap? Sometimes our desire to improve is not enough. We can resist our transformation in powerful ways. Here are some of the common reasons that we resist making the changes we want and need, as well as strategies to get past each type of resistance. When Healing Has Consequences For Some Reason We Just Don't Try Not Knowing How To Forgive Ourselves Bing Overwhelmed By How Much Work We Have There Is So Much We Don't Know Where To Begin When One Issue Is Really Three or Four The Importance of Knowing Why We Want Change But I Don't Know How To Tap For It I Don't Know Where To Start Is There A Right And Wrong Way To Tap? The Process Of Healing There is a very specific process to how we heal. It often doesn't happen all at once and when we understand this, it's easier for us to recognize the progress we have made and to plan the next step. Acknowledging this progress in particular helps to keep us motivated to do the necessary work and move forward quickly. Stages of Awareness in Healing What Is The Deal With Surrogate Tapping? As strange as tapping seems, surrogate tapping seems even stranger. It doesn't seem possible or reasonable that we can tap on ourself and see change in someone else. In these two resources we look at how it isn't about us changing someone else, but how we can be an agent of change. This is very powerful stuff. Podcast: The how, what, and why of surrogate tapping Tapping on Someone Else's Behavior How A Parent Can Tap For Their Child Podcast: It's Not Surrogate Tappping But It Helps Others To Make Different Choices Using Information For Our Body To Find Core Issues Just because we think we know the reason for our issues DOES NOT mean that we really know the reasons for our issues. Often we are wrong because we are too close to the situation or are simply misunderstanding the information. Our bodies, which are not hamstrung by our beliefs and misperceptions, frequently possess higher wisdom about our issues. The body simply knows what it is experiencing and we can leverage this information in our healing process. Here are a number of suggestions on how to tune into the body to access this knowledge. The Body Has Information About Our Issues Tuning in to the Body To Find Core Issues Emotional Triggers Everyone has something that sets him or her off. These emotional triggers are no surprise to us and often they are no surprise to our loved ones! In this three-part series we look at how we can deal with emotional triggers when they are activated. and then how to deactivate them permanently. Emotional Triggers (part 1) Emotional Triggers (part 2) Emotional Triggers (part 3) Change For The Future One of my favorite tapping/EvEFT applications is using it to insure that we make better choices and get closer to the life we really want to live. Here are two processes to positively impact our future. (These are far and away the most read articles on the site.) Making the Right Choice Getting What We Want (part 1) Getting What We Want (part 2) Getting What We Want (part 3) Getting What We Want (part 4) Specialty Series In addition to the regular articles and podcast on the site as of January of 2010 there is always a specialty series. These are a series of resources that go much more in-depth to one issue of many articles. 10 Part Weight Release Series BONUS: My Personal Favorites There are a number of resources that I have created that I am particularly proud of. Many of those articles can be found in the nine topic areas above. There are a number of my favorites that don't fit into one of those categories. Maybe, if you read between the line you will learn a little something about where I am in my life. Here they are in no particular order. Avoiding Bitterness What If I Don't Completely Love And Accept Myself Why I Am Giving Up On Self Improvement In The New Year Gratitude v. Poverty Deserve v. Worthy When We Carry Burdens For Others Understanding Psychological Reversal Transforming Our Critical Voice In To Something Helpful In 8 Easy Steps http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/turning-your-issues-into-allies-in-9-easy-steps/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/turning-your-issues-into-allies-in-9-easy-steps/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:00:13 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/turning-your-issues-into-allies-in-9-easy-step-pod-29/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/turning-your-issues-into-allies-in-9-easy-steps/feed/ 0 GeneOne of the most powerful insights I have had in my practice in the last 18 months was the recognition that every issue we have is trying to serve us in some way. This does not mean that issue is successful in doing so. In many cases the effort of the issue is making our life much worse. In podcast I explain an easy 9 step process you can use with tapping to transform your issues in to powerful resources for growth.One of the most powerful insights I have had in my practice in the last 18 months was the recognition that every issue we have is trying to serve us in some way. This does not mean that issue is successful in doing so. In many cases the effort of the issue is making our life much worse. In podcast I explain an easy 9 step process you can use with tapping to transform your issues in to powerful resources for growth. Listen to or download Podcast 29 Subscribe via iTunes To listen to the podcast click the above link to open player. To download the podcast right click the link and choose "Save As". Having trouble downloading a podcast? Watch this video. Resources For This Pod Download of the 9 steps plus tapping phrases for each step World Tapping Summit Info http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/negative-thoughts-a-new-way-to-use-negative-thoughts-to-clear-issues/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/negative-thoughts-a-new-way-to-use-negative-thoughts-to-clear-issues/#comments Sun, 07 Mar 2010 13:00:18 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2124 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/negative-thoughts-a-new-way-to-use-negative-thoughts-to-clear-issues/feed/ 1 GeneI am trying to get rid of the negative thoughts and feelings. Isn't saying and thinking negative thoughts while tapping just reinforcing the negative situation I am in? Shouldn't I just be saying positive things?I am trying to get rid of the negative thoughts and feelings. Isn't saying and thinking negative thoughts while tapping just reinforcing the negative situation I am in? Shouldn't I just be saying positive things? photo by Christine Vaufrey This is one of the most common questions that beginner tapper ask. It seem counter intuitive to think of negative thoughts to get better. In the article Why do I have to tap? How is Tapping Different From Just Thinking About The Issue? I explain the whys and hows of negative thoughts while tapping. In a nut shell when we are tuning into the negative emotion we are tuning into the root of the issue and giving us direct access to the issue we would like to heal. Recently Dr. Kiya Immergluck shared a really interesting thought in her news letter on one of the ways we can use negative thoughts to clear the issues. What Kiya suggests is that we indulge our mind in revenge fantasies while we are tapping. I think this is helpful for two reasons. First, at least for me, when I am really angry at someone my mind is going to drift some of these thoughts any way so I might as well use them for healing. Second, I think it is health to meet head on the thoughts we have that aren't for our highest good. Instead of pretending these thoughts aren't there, we are getting a chance to recognize and heal them. Here is Kiya's article in its entirety (reprinted with permission) followed by a few more comments. Revenge Tapping Dr. Kiya L. Immergluck, LCPC eft-tap.com I went to hear a very wise woman speak recently, and she answered someone’s question in a very unusual way. A woman I’ll call “Jane” asked: “How can I get over the resentment I feel about being stuck taking care of my abusive mother now that she’s old and there are no other relatives?” I was sure the wise woman was going to speak about forgiveness, or the possibility of learning valuable lessons, or the “gift” of having time to heal a toxic relationship. But the message was very clear and very controversial. She said: “Entertain revenge fantasies!” I was so shocked, I almost fell out of my chair, and then I began to laugh. I realized that it was actually a very good idea. She emphasized that the exercise was about fantasy and not about anything real. Jane began to laugh and said immediately: I just pictured the movie “Misery!” If you don’t remember, the movie pictured a very crazy woman holding a man captive and causing him great bodily harm. I knew that Jane wouldn’t ever really hurt her mother, but giving herself permission to have violent fantasies was very comforting for her. I knew that tapping would be an excellent tool so that a person could have unacceptable and inappropriate negative fantasies, and feel totally neutral about them with no guilt or discomfort. For example, Jane could have tapped: KC: Even though I am having terrible fantasies about revenge on my mother, I accept myself anyway. (3X) EB: These “Misery” fantasies... SE: These “Misery” fantasies... UE: I feel so guilty... UN: These “Misery” fantasies... Ch: I shouldn’t have them... CB: I am being a “bad daughter.” UA: These “Misery” fantasies... UB: I would never REALLY do anything to hurt her... Wr: But it is so comforting T of H: I am being a “bad daughter.” (Karate Chop, Eye Brow, Side of Eye, Under Eye, Under Nose, Chin, Collar Bone, Under Arm, Under Breast, Wrist, Top of Head.) The idea of giving voice to negative thoughts has often been confusing for some of my students. Once, a retired minister in her 80’s came to one of my tapping workshops, and couldn’t understand why we were saying such “un-Christian” statements about situations, other people, and ourselves. She spent her lifetime teaching people to be kind, patient and loving. Her message to her congregation was always to “be patient,” “show Christian charity,” and work hard to get to a place of “forgiveness” for our enemies. What I always emphasize is that we are only giving voice to the negative thoughts that already exist within us. I believe that some of our stress-related physical illnesses can be traced back to the “unacceptable” negative emotions that we bury in our psyches. With the added tool of tapping, we let those emotions out in the open so that the negative emotions are neutralized and really dispersed for good. Remember, revenge tapping is only about fantasy, never about seriously wanting to harm yourself or anyone else. Like all tapping tools, this isn't for everyone. If this is something you are not comfortable indulging in, then don't. Be safe. Know your self. If this is something you are comfortable doing then it is going to take the edge off your rage and anger by moving it from something that is bubbling under the surface and bring it in to the light of day it is going to lose its power and were are going to be able to heal it. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/avoiding-bitterness/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/avoiding-bitterness/#comments Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:59:39 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2115 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/03/avoiding-bitterness/feed/ 3 GeneStruggle can lead to bitterness. Bitterness is the enemy of healing and transformation. Here is a tap-along to help dealing with bitterness in the face of struggle.[Note: From time to time some of the resources on this site come from a more personal world-view. I do not claim to have a monopoly on truth. This is just a point of view. If this does not serve you I hope you are able to find other resources on the site that speak to you.] Here is a quote from one of the many newsletters I am subscribed to: photo by Sean Dreilinger In order to let suffering transform us, we must let it take us to the edge of our own inner resources where alone we can "fall into the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:31), even against our will. We must pray for the profound grace of this second stage of softening and opening in the presence of suffering. My personal opinion is that this is the very meaning of the phrase "deliver us from evil" in the Our Father (the Lord’s Prayer). We aren’t asking to avoid all suffering. It is more that we pray, "when the big trials come, God, hold onto me, and don't let me turn bitter or blaming—an evil that leads to so many other evils. When I am led to the edge of my own resources may I fall into YOU, who are my true and lasting Source." Excerpted and adapted from "Opening the Door: Great Suffering and Great Love" from "The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See" by Fr. Richard Rohr Which leads me to tap: I know that through out this day I am going to face trails and struggles...some will be created by the situation...while others will be created by my choices...some will be big and some will be small...the emotions I feel in these moments will be real...but I know that they will not all reflect the truth...I pray that I am able to recognize in every trail and struggle that I face...that I am able to see this as another moment of healing...I am not seeking out struggle for the sake of growth...but know that in these moments of struggle I will be given the opportunity to heal and grow...help me on this day not to give way to bitterness...hopelessness...and...disconnection from the love of God...give me vision to see God's presents in all moments...help me to know that God's love is not something I need to seek...but that it is full here...and I need to simply accept it...I know that struggle can make me jaded and bitter...preventing me form not only miss God's love in this moment, but the next as well...struggle is not the enemy...bitterness is...I can make loving choices in the middle of struggle...it is hard for me to make loving choices in the midst of my own bitterness...help me not to dismiss struggle...but to see it for what it truly is http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/its-not-surrogate-but-it-helps-others-to-make-different-choices-pod-28/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/its-not-surrogate-but-it-helps-others-to-make-different-choices-pod-28/#comments Fri, 26 Feb 2010 13:00:09 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2140 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/its-not-surrogate-but-it-helps-others-to-make-different-choices-pod-28/feed/ 2 GeneI receive questions all the time about how one can tap to change someone else. There are some very specific implementations of surrogate tapping (like the work I do with autistic children). But it is not as simple as tapping to change the choices of someone else. We can't tap to change someone else free will, but we can tap to create an environment where we give others a chance to make new and different choices. In this podcast I explain 3 ways in which we can take to help others to make different choices by working on our own emotions, make others feel loved and save, and by not bring our issues to the table.I receive questions all the time about how one can tap to change someone else. There are some very specific implementations of surrogate tapping (like the work I do with autistic children). But it is not as simple as tapping to change the choices of someone else. We can't tap to change someone else free will, but we can tap to create an environment where we give others a chance to make new and different choices. In this podcast I explain 3 ways in which we can take to help others to make different choices by working on our own emotions, make others feel loved and save, and by not bring our issues to the table. Listen to or download Podcast 28 Subscribe via iTunes To listen to the podcast click the above link to open player. To download the podcast right click the link and choose "Save As". Having trouble downloading a podcast? Watch this video. Resources for this podcast: Every resource about surrogate tapping at Tapping Q & A The Hows and Whys of Surrogate Tapping Podcast http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/transforming-our-critical-voice-in-to-something-helpful-in-8-easy-steps/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/transforming-our-critical-voice-in-to-something-helpful-in-8-easy-steps/#comments Sun, 21 Feb 2010 21:16:12 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2111 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/transforming-our-critical-voice-in-to-something-helpful-in-8-easy-steps/feed/ 1 GeneOne of the reasons that I love EFT/tapping is because it is very effective in dealing with our critical voice. The critical voice is nothing more then that little nagging voice that is always pointing out everything we have done wrong, everything we are going to do wrong, and everything we are never going to be. Sometimes this voice is nothing more than a simple annoyance, while other times it can be so crippling that it prevents us from getting out to bed in the morning. Here is an easy 8 step process to transform the critical voice into a very powerful tool for change and transformation.[Note: In this article I am going to addressing the role of the critical voice. I am going to speak as if the critical voice has a personality and motives. I am not saying the critical voice is a distinct personality or that it is separate from us in any way. But by speaking of it as if it is distinct it is going to give us the ability to deal effectively with only one part of our own personality and it is going to help us to slightly disassociate from what is going on giving the gift of perspective. From this distance it will enable faster transformation.] photo by mollypop One of the reasons that I love EFT/tapping is because it is very effective in dealing with our critical voice. The critical voice is nothing more then that little nagging voice that is always pointing out everything we have done wrong, everything we are going to do wrong, and everything we are never going to be. Sometimes this voice is nothing more than a simple annoyance, while other times it can be so crippling that it prevents us from getting out to bed in the morning. Because of these facts most of us don't have a very good relationship with our critical voice. Many of us resent it and even hate it. One of the underlying themes of my work is to transform the relationship we have with ourselves and with parts of our personality in order to facilitate lasting transformation. Working with our critical voice is a perfect example of a place where we can apply this principle. It is very difficult for us to transform our critical voice when we are angry at it. When we are angry at a part of our personality it is going to entrench itself and fight back. If we are willing to change our attitude toward this part of our personality then we can get this part of our personality to work with us to create lasting deep transformation. Before we can begin the process we need to understand why the critical voice exists. And the reason might surprise you. The Critical Voice Exists To Make Our Life Better I know that statement is very hard to believe. I would be even willing to bet that when you read that statement there was a strong emotional reaction against it, but it's true. All parts of our personality exist because they are trying to bring us to our higher good. Just because a parts motivation is for higher good does NOT mean that it is leading us to our higher good. In this example the critical voice is not pointing things out to make us feel bad or to punish us, but instead is doing so to help us see the errors of our ways so that we will make better choices in the future. And yes, I know. It doesn't feel that way. It feels like it is just judging and criticizing. But, when we are able to recognize the fact is it is trying to help us it is going to make it easier for us to transform it into something that is truly helpful. As you will see in this process we will not need to celebrate what the critical voice has done to us to recognize it motivations. The Process One of the nice things about the EFT/tapping protocols is they are very short and they give us the chance to try something out for a few minuets. If it doesn't work then we can return to what we were doing before. This process is no different. You should be able to complete this process in under 10 minutes. If you don't buy my "The critical voice is here to help you, but is just doing it in the wrong way," I would encourage you to give this process a try. If it doesn't work out for you then go back to being mad at the critical voice. The only thing you will have lost is a few minutes tapping on something new. 1) Tune in and connect with the critical voice. In this step all we need to do is connect with the critical voice. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and listen for the voice. (It is not going to be hard to find.) Pay attention to where the voice is coming from. Is it something that is internal or external? Is it the voice of someone you know, does it sound like your speaking voice, or is it some other voice? If you were to image the voice belonged to a body, what would that body look like? The specific answers to these questions aren't important, but by asking them it is going to be easier for us to connect with the part of our self, allowing us to do healing work. 2) Affirm the critical voice. This is going to be the most difficult step of the process because how much hurt and harm we associate with the critical voice. It is important to note that when doing this step we are NOT affirming the tactics of the critical voice and we are NOT affirming the way we feel after we encounter our critical voice. What we are affirming is the fact that is part of us that is willing to work very hard to move us to a better life. To do this we would tap on something like: I would like to give thanks for my critical voice...I am NOT thankful for the tactic that is using...I am NOT thankful for the way I feel after I experience the critical voice...I am thankful for the fact that there is a part of me that is will to work so hard...I know that even though it is not doing this...it is trying to make my life better...my critical voice thinks it is making my life better...it thinks that if it berates me...or if it points out everything that going wrong...that it is going make me make better choice is the future...the critical voice is a very powerful part of myself....even if it is not working in productive way...I know it is working for my betterment...I am thankful that is a part of me that is willing work day and night...thinking it is doing what is best for me After doing a round of tapping like this we will take a bit of the edge off. We might not be super-happy with the critical voice, but there is less animosity towards it. At this point that is all we are trying to achieve. When we move from a state of animosity then we are no longer fighting a part of our self, but instead we can now start to work with it. 3) Explain to the critical voice what it is really doing. As stated above the critical voice in most cases believes that if it is constantly pointing out every flaw and fault that it is going to motivate us to make better choices. Its motives are either "You don't know you are doing something wrong?" and/or "You don't realize the consequences of these choices?" In almost every case we are fully aware of the information that the critical voice is providing. In many cases the critical voice is actually over stating and/or over reacting to the situation around us. Because we have done the last step and created a bit of a truce with the critical voice we can now speak to the critical voice with new information. In this step we are simply going let critical voice know the consequences of its actions. The tapping might look something like this: I know the critical voice is trying to be helpful...but it isn't...the critical voice is pointing out things I already know...and many times is it point out things is a way that is much worse that it really is...the critical voice thinks it is going to encourage me by pointing out my failings...instead I find having every flaw and failing being point out to be disheartening...debilitating...I find it very hurtful...I find that it makes it very difficult to believe in myself...it is not pushing me to better...but instead sucking my ability to try right out of my system...I know the critical voice believes it is being helpful...it is not...it is not creating a feeling of encouragement for better...it is creating a feeling of shame...shame is not an emotion of achievement and growth...shame is a feeling of not wanting to try 4) Show the critical voice proof of its past tactics. At this point it is very helpful to show the critical voice the proof of what we have just be tapping on. Again, just tune into the critical voice, being to tap from point to point, and show the critical voice proof of all the ways it has been hurtful and debilitating. 5) Transforming the critical voice in to something helpful. When doing the process with clients there is something very interesting that happens. Clients describe the fact that they can feel the critical voice feeling bad that it has not done its job. I have even had clients describe their critical voice as feeling bad because it feels it is about to be eliminated from the system. Because we are not fighting with the critical voice (like we were in the beginning), but instead have a relationship with it, we can now guide the critical voice in to a resource that is helpful. The tapping for this transformation might look like this: I know the critical voice is very powerful...I have felt the force of the power...but instead of pointing out all of the things I have done wrong...there is a way this voice can be more helpful...I want to harness the power of the voice to be used for my higher good...because I know this voice wants my higher good...I want this voice to stop being a critical voice and become an encouraging voice...because I respond so much better to encouragement...I want this encouraging voice to pick me up when I am doing...I what this encouraging voice to push me on to take those last few hard steps...I want the encouraging voice to help me to get started when I can't quite focus on the task at hand...I want the encouraging voice to use the power it had to see my faults in the past to start to look forward to the opportunities in my future...I want this encouraging voice to move me forward...not keep me stuck in the past...when it does this I am going to move forward and heal This is a very empowering step. 6) Giving the encouraging voice the resources and tools to do its new job. Just because we want the voice to change (and just because the critical voice wants to become the encouraging voice) doesn't mean the change is going to happen. I have had many clients describe the feeling of having the critical voice being on board with the change but not know what to do next. I have found the easiest way to complete the change is to ask the critical/encouraging voice what it needs for transformation. The process for this is simple. First, start tapping from point to point. Second, tune back into the critical/encouraging voice. Third, ask it one of the following questions. Forth, if it states a need based on the questions simply image that need being filled. For example, if it needs permission to change, give it permission. If it needs to know how to encourage you, show it. Here is a list of sample questions you can ask the voice to help it transform from critical to encouraging. Do you need permission to transform? Do you need training to transform? If so what type? Do you energy to transform? If so what type? Do you need to be connected to other parts of they system? What connections and what type of connections need to be made? What do you need from me to make the transformation? 7) Reassure the encouraging voice. Even when we choose to make this type of transformation it doesn't always happen all at once. And that is okey. The healing/transformation process can take time. We want the healing to happen in a fashion that is long lasting. We are not looking for some short-term quick fix. The last of the process is to reassure the encouraging voice that this is going to take time and that we are willing to help it through the transformation. The tapping for this looks something like this: I am very happy that my internal voice is willing to become an encouraging voice...I know this process is going to take a little time...which is okey because I want a long lasting change...not a quick fix...I want my encouraging voice to know that I don't expect it to be perfect right way...I know it is going to need to learn its way in to this new role...I commit to regularly check in with the encouraging voice...making sure it has everything it needs to complete this transformation...I give the encouraging voice permission to ask for help from me...even when I am not checking with it...this is a change that is good for me now...and for the future. 8) Check back regularly. If this is a process that is helpful for you I would encourage you to do it two or three times a month for a few months to really help this transformation process along. I think it is obvious how making the small change of changing one aspect of our personality will cascade in to many radical changes in our life. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/pre-emptive-tapping/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/pre-emptive-tapping/#comments Mon, 15 Feb 2010 12:00:44 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2086 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/pre-emptive-tapping/feed/ 0 GeneThere are times when we know we are going to stepping in to situations where we are going to be facing a know issue (like going to a party where there are going to be tempting foods or into a meeting where we know we might get mad). When we know what our problem spots are we can do tapping ahead of time to issue we make better choices.[Note: This is part 5 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.] photo by Mai Bui Most of the time when it comes to our mindless eating we know where our problem spots are. Not only do we know the types of food that cause us problems, we know the situations that are going to be hard for us. Going out with friends, the donuts that are at work on Monday, and heading to any sort of party can cause us worry. It would be great to believe that will power would be enough in the situations that we know are going to be hard for us. The reality is there are going to be times when will power is not enough until we get the issues that are underlying the mindless eating under control. Until this is accomplished we can tap ahead of time to insure we are going to make healthier choices. Step one is tune into the level of craving we believe we might feel in the problem situation. For example, if we are going to a party where there is going be lots of yummy sweets just image what it is going to be like around all your temptation foods. By doing this you should be able to get a good sense of how hard it is going to be. Step two is to tap on what is coming. For the party example the patter might look something like this: I know I am going to go into a situation where I am going to be surrounded by foods I am going to crave...there is a very specific reason why my body is going to crave these things...but right now those underlying root causes don't matter...those are things I can deal with in the future...I know that by doing so work right now I am going to insure that I am going to make better choices...my system knows exactly the types foods I need for the short or long term...not in terms of using food to cover up some immediate need...but instead my body knows exactly what it needs to be strong and healthy so it can grow and thrive...I give this part of my body permission to tune into the part of me that knows how to deal with these situations...I give the part of my body that knows exactly the right choices to come forward...and to be with me at the party...I know that I can and will make good choices at this party...any part of me that wants to eat my cravings I tune into right know...I thank that part of me that wants to eat my craving foods because it is trying to take care of me...I am not thanking it for the choices that it is trying to make...but instead I am thanking it for wanting to take care of me...even if eating these cravings doesn't serve me...in part of me that wants to eat healthy food will be present with me in a powerful way the rest of the day...even if there is no food that it good for me to eat...I can survive and make good...healthy...eating choices. Step three is to tune back in the how you image you are going to feel at the party. At this point you should feel that you are more confident that you are going to make good eating choices. If you are not feeling confident then do a little more tapping. There are few things to keep in mind. First, pre-emptive tapping is useful for any situation that we are stepping into that we know is going to be hard. This is not just for cravings. We can tap ahead of time for situations that we know are going to be hard, emotional, or unknown. Just tap for the issues and emotions as if they are happening now while you are imaging what is going to happen. Second, this is not going to insure that you are going to be craving free, but our goal is not to be craving free. Our goal is to make healthy eating choices. Even we have craving we are able to make good eating choices, but it becomes much harder when the craving is a 7 on a scale of 10 verses when it is a 3. By doing this tapping we are going to knock out at least part of the craving ahead of time (if not all of it). By doing this you are going to reduce the craving to the point that it will be easier for you to make healthy choices. In part 6 of this series we will look at our relationship to food. Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/but-i-dont-know-how-to/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/but-i-dont-know-how-to/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:00:36 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2095 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/but-i-dont-know-how-to/feed/ 0 GeneOne of the biggest obstacles we face when we sit down to tap is to know what to tap on. We might have a sense of what we would like to change or how we would like to grow, but the change can feel so large that we don't what steps to take first. In this article AnaMaria Herrera explains that some times the best first step is to decided to make a change, which then leads to a clearer path and the next step. [Note: This article is by AnaMaria Herrera. AnaMaria Herrera, EFT Practitioner and Trainer, teaches EFT fans and practitioners how to get great results that last with Emotional Freedom Techniques. Through her workshops, coaching programs, and products, AnaMaria shows her participants and clients how to use EFT to resolve their chronic conditions and reach their goals.] photo by Thomas Roche There is a lot of things I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner. I don't know where I'll be in 20 years time. And I don't know how to change a flat tire on my bike (I wish I did!) But I do know one thing for sure. That when we focus on an area of our life this is yucky we gain power. We are taking a stand for greatness and change in our own lives. Especially when using the word 'DECIDE.' Say one of these aloud: "I've decided to... ... work on my self -confidence ... focus on my finances so I can have more abundance ... start that online business or go back to school ... have my business/job take a back seat so I can tend to my love life ... lose the weight and have a healthy relationship with food" Feel the power and energy in those words? Even if you don't know HOW you are going to accomplish the goal, the first step is always deciding! When you decide, you're setting energy, attention, and focus to that area of your life. Talk about power! Can I share a personal story here? Some years ago I had a physical condition that conventional or alternative medicine couldn't heal. I remember thinking, "I've tried EVERYTHING!" Being in the health care field I thought I saw every modality there was. But somehow I decided (even though I didn't know the solution at the time) to reach out and try one more time. The act of deciding brought me to a lovely practitioner. What did she teach me? Emotional Freedom Techniques. And the rest, they say, is history. But I had to first DECIDE! YOUR SUCCESS ASSIGNMENT Choose one (1) area that you are going to focus on. Maybe it's in the area of health, finances, or a creative pursuit. Which one feels/looks the most messy or nagging you? Now let's tap together: Even though... I don't know how I'm going to accomplish _____________________ I've deciding to be open to it Even though... I'm afraid to focus in this area because of the sadness/pain/disappointment I feel, and I've tried before, I'm deciding to give myself another chance Even though... I don't know where to begin to have/be/do ______________,I'm intending to draw the resources and support I need to assist me reminder phrases: - I don't know how - I'm deciding to be open - I'm afraid still - what if I fail?- I've decided to move forward, even if I don't know how yet - I need help! - what if I attract the resources and help I need? - I'm deciding I deserve this Deciding can be scary. Lucky for us, we have our secret weapon, EFT, to calm our fears so we are in a confident state to have, be and do what we really want. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/dealing-with-mindless-eating-4-of-10/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/dealing-with-mindless-eating-4-of-10/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 12:00:42 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2045 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/dealing-with-mindless-eating-4-of-10/feed/ 0 GeneOne of the most difficult parts of releasing weight is making changes to how we eat. There are two aspects to changing the way we eat: mealtime eating and between meal eating. In this article we look at the many different ways we can use tapping to deal with mindless eating.[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.] photo by Mo Riza One of the most difficult parts of releasing weight is making changes to how we eat. There are two aspects to changing the way we eat: mealtime eating and between meal eating. When it comes to meal planning: I am not a nutritionist and would encourage you to find the right meal plan that makes the most sense for your goals, body type, age,a nd general health. The mindless eating we do between meals is a different matter. When I am speaking "mindless eating" I am talking not only about cravings but also comfort eating and the eating we do that we are not thinking about at all (such as eating while watching tv). The meal plan you craft for yourself is a very mindful way of eating; therefore, all of the other eating you do is mindless. There are already a number of resources on the site that show the many aspects of mindless eating. Many of these resources talk about a specific type of craving (one even uses smoking as an example), but each of these approaches and examples can be used for all types of mindless eating. How To Kill Craving I have decided (once again) that I need to cut caffeine out of my diet. In the past I have given it up cold turkey but have ended up with withdrawal headaches. Is there a way that I can use EFT to help me kick the caffeine habit in a pain-free way? Kill your Cravings (part 2) Right now I’m having trouble with cravings. There are times I crave Diet Dr. Pepper, but I don’t like the taste. I almost feel like a person possessed. I must consume it even though I don’t enjoy it. How do I use EFT to kill this type of craving? Bridging From Physical Feelings To The Emotion and Memories That Are Underneath (Pod #17) In the podcast I share part of a client session around the issue of quitting smoking. Even if you are not a smoker you are going to find this very helpful and informative. This session provides a number of very clear examples of how we can bridge from a physiological feel (in this case the desire to smoke a cigarette) to thoughts and memories from the past. Zapping Cravings w/ Pat Carrington (Pod #21) One of the most common uses of tapping is weight release and craving control. In this interview Pat talks about the basic steps we need to take to be success in weight release. After giving this overview Pat talks emotional eating and then talks in very specific term about the mindless eating we do and how we can use tapping to deal with the craving eating and the habitual eat (e.g. eating every time we watch tv). In part 5 of this series we will look at what we can do before we get into situation of temptation. Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special. http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/tapping-for-your-professional-life/ http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/tapping-for-your-professional-life/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 12:00:37 +0000 Gene http://tappingqanda.com/?p=2050 http://tappingqanda.com/2010/02/tapping-for-your-professional-life/feed/ 0 GeneWe spend as much as one half of our waking hours at work. Not only is it important that we have a way of dealing with the stress of our jobs, but we also need to help manage the way this stress might affect the rest of our lives. In this interview with Pamela Bruner we talk about how we can use tapping to deal with work place stress, how to use tapping to improve our performance on the job, and how to use tapping to keep the work stress from creeping into other parts of our lives.We spend as much as one half of our waking hours at work. Not only is it important that we have a way of dealing with the stress of our jobs, but we also need to help manage the way this stress might affect the rest of our lives. In this interview with Pamela Bruner we talk about how we can use tapping to deal with work place stress, how to use tapping to improve our performance on the job, and how to use tapping to keep the work stress from creeping into other parts of our lives. Listen to or download Podcast #27 Subscribe via iTunes To listen to the podcast click the above link to open player. To download the podcast right click the link and choose "Save As". Having trouble downloading a podcast? Watch this video. Guest: Pamela Bruner Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessEasy.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, phone @ (888) 736-0620 About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Success Coach, Certified Firewalk Instructor, Certified EFT Practitioner (EFTCert-I), speaker, author and musician. Following a career as a computer programmer, Pamela built a hugely successful business as a Celtic harpist and singer, recording over twenty albums. She then began doing motivational work in the music community, and became a Certified Life Coach to better work with people in all walks of life. Pamela now works with small business owners and solo practitioners who want to make a difference in the world with their businesses. She is committed to helping people achieve success in all of their endeavors. Resources from this episode: The book Pamala co-edited EFT and Beyond the book plus bonuses