Tools

One of the phrases I hear frequently from clients is “I don’t deserve…” When we believe we don’t deserve something then we are going to prevent ourselves from getting it. It doesn’t matter if it is a better job, a loving relationship, or better health. If we don’t feel we deserve it then we aren’t going to move forward. In this reflection we look at how changing the way we understand the word “deserve” can change the way we heal.

Jason Kottke described this as: “Two minutes of laughing. If this doesn’t make you smile, YOU’RE A MONSTER!”

This is awesome to tap to!

It is very important to spend time doing self-forgiveness work. If we do not forgive ourselves then we are never going to move forward because we are going to be an emotional prisoner to the past. When we refuse to forgive ourselves then it is like we are reliving the past moment over and over again.

There are many steps to this process, but one of the concepts I always talk to clients about is the difference between feeling guilty and regretting what happened.

There are many reasons we want to make changes in our life. Often, the greater the perceived reward the greater the motivation we have. Many times there’s more than one reason for making a change. Understanding these reasons can be key to our transformation.

As wonderful as one-minute/one-session miracles are I think as a Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping community we are doing ourselves a disservice in the ways we talk about these one-minute miracles. I am not saying that there is no room for us to talk about these very real healing experiences, but I think we can get lost in our own enthusiasm and run potential tappers over. (I know I have!) Here are three of the problems I think we have created for ourselves.

When I work with clients I like to teach them practical tools so that they are not dependent on our client sessions for progress. I want them to be able to continue to move forward on their. There are two tools that I teach the most because I think they are 1) very easy to do. 2) very versatile and 3) very powerful. (I will share the other tool in a future podcast.)

The tool “About, To, and As If” is a great way to deal with emotions around any relationship. The tool can be used for close friends and family or with people you have never met before. It can be used for people you have a contentious relationship with and it can be used with people who you want a better life for. You can do the whole tool in three minutes. or use it for a full hour.

Recently I was asked, “I love the fact that you have over 380 free resources on your site, but I don’t know where to start. Where is a good place to start?” Here is a list of 16 of my favorite, most popular, and best free resources on tapping and EFT. Make sure you let me know what your favorites are as well!

I have been spending a great deal of time thinking about set-up statements lately. Using the phrase “I love and accept myself…” it one of the bigest challenges my clients face. For some reason it just feels icky to say “I love and accept myself”. Even though it doesn’t feel good, it is good for you. Besides clearing psychological reversal it provides an opportunity to create some gentle reframing moments.

For the last few months I have been blessed to be spending my Monday and Wednesday mornings in the local county jail helping out with the Advanced Anger Management class. It has been an amazing experience. I have learned so much from the class. These lessons are not limited to how to best use or teach tapping, but I have also learned lots of lessons about life. Here are a few of the lessons I have learned from working with the guys.

One of the reasons that I love EFT/tapping is because it is very effective in dealing with our critical voice. The critical voice is nothing more then that little nagging voice that is always pointing out everything we have done wrong, everything we are going to do wrong, and everything we are never going to be.

Sometimes this voice is nothing more than a simple annoyance, while other times it can be so crippling that it prevents us from getting out to bed in the morning.

Here is an easy 8 step process to transform the critical voice into a very powerful tool for change and transformation.