When I first started using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) I thought the reason that we tapped was to feel better. My first two tapping experiences reinforced this belief.
My first memory of using EFT on my own was getting rid of one of the most profound headaches I had ever experienced in about 90 seconds. My second big moment was dealing with my social anxiety.
It makes sense that this is what I thought EFT was all about because in both cases I felt SO much better.
But there will be times when using tapping only as a way to feel better will do us a disservice because it impacts the action we take.
Let me explain…
When We Take Action
The two times we are most likely to take action are when we are in a great deal of pain or if we are really close to achieving our goal. When in pain, action is easy because we want the pain to stop. When we are so close to our goal that we can almost taste it, work and effort needed to get there feel like a breeze because we can see and feel how much our life will improve when we do.
We are least likely to take action when we are in those times in between the extremes. It is kind of a tolerable middle, not comfortable because we don’t have quite what we want, but also a long way from profound pain in the moment.
Because there is no acute pain pushing us, we are not too keen on taking action. When we are a long way from achieving our goal it feels (on a conscious or subconscious level) like it is too much effort and just might not work out so there is no strong motivation to move.
One of the biggest mistakes people make with their tapping practice is that they use it to move from discomfort to the tolerable middle and from where they then fail to take further action.
I feel bad about how out of shape I have gotten and I want to lose a little weight. Right now is very busy time at work, so I tap something like this:
I really want to lose some weight right now…This is one of my long term goals…I know how much better my life will be when I lose some weight…I will feel more energetic…I will be healthier…And right now life is so busy…I know if I do a little work every day…In the long run it will make a difference…All I need to do is take some time at lunch every day…I can go for a brisk 30-minute walk…It won’t be enough in the long run…But because of everything that’s going on in my life it will be a great start…And I can build it into something more.
After tapping it’s likely that you will feel a lot better. You will feel like you have a plan. The discomfort of the moment will have passed and, because this isn’t the end of the world, you go happily about your day.
BUT you know as well as I do that you won’t go for that walk on Monday during your lunch break.
You have tapped away the pain of the moment, but only in so far as you have put yourself in the tolerable middle. You aren’t going to walk on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. You are going to wake up Thursday morning feeling run down from the week and then you will beat yourself up again for not taking any action.
Now you feel bad because you are out of shape AND you feel like a failure because you didn’t take action.
Tapping To Take Action
When we are wanting to take action we don’t want to be tapping for the discomfort, but instead be tapping for new action.
The easiest way to do this is laid out in The Great Visualization Hoax – A 4-Step Tapping Plan Of Attack.
If you would like more guidance in tapping so that you aren’t just feeling better but moving from discomfort to action, you should check out Ruach Center. As a member you will have access to over 150 tools and tap-along audios that will help you to put a stop to self-sabotage and lead you to positive action.