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Archives for August 2010

Creativity Boosting Techniques That Accelerate Tapping Success (AKA: How To Keeping Tapping When It Gets Boring Or Stale) Part 3 of 4

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[This article is part of a four part series on how to get create with tapping when you are stuck or bored with tapping. A new part willed be added every few weeks. See the parts that have been published so far and check back regularly to see the full series.]

photo by Brian

Mechanically tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very easy thing to do. All you need is to provide stimulus to the tapping points plus tuning into the issue at hand. The tapping part is easy; what can be hard is the tuning in part. Often we are so close to an issue or we have been working on an issue that it is difficult to see it clearly.

Recently Jeremy Dean's PSYBlog had a very interesting two part series (via kottke.org) which explored 14 of ways we can become more creative and more efficient problem solvers. In this four part series I am going to explore how we can apply many of these insights to tune into our issues in new ways (plus a few of my own).

Obviously not all of these are going to work for every issue, but by having a complete menu to choose from you are going to find new ways to approach the issue.

Two Problems Are Better Than One (via part 2)

People solve many problems analogically: by recalling a similar old one and applying the same, or similar solution. Unfortunately studies have found that people are poor at recalling similar problems they've already solved.

In a counter-intuitive study, however, Kurtz and Lowenstein (2007) found that having two problems rather than one made it more likely that participants would recall problems they'd solved before, which helped them solve the current problem.

So don't avoid complications, gather them all up; they may well help jog your memory.

How to apply to tapping: As this study points out, sometimes we are not successful by being specific (and something we can't even get specific). One of the ways I like to deal with this is through a simple basket process.

I close my eyes and start tapping (moving from point to point every few seconds). I take a few deep breaths and imagine a large wicker basket. Then one at a time I place all the issues I am currently working on into the basket. I am not spending a great deal of time going into detail with each issue, but just seeing the general idea of the issue going in. Once I have added everything to the basket I do a number of simple steps.

First, I recognize that all of these issues exist because on some level my system thought they were helpful at some point. I let me system know that many (if not all) of these issues/idea have fulfilled their task and they can move on.

Second, I recognize that many of the ideas/issues are burdens that I have picked up for others. It is a high act of love to pick something up for someone else, but it is a higher act of love to release and heal these burdens.

Finally, I ask the system what insight and information it has to help me get past the issues that are left in the basket. I am often shocked at the amazing insight and information that is brought forward in these moments.

Fight! Fight! Fight! (via part 2)

We tend to think that when people are arguing, they become more narrow-minded and rigid and consequently less creative.

But, according to research by Dreu and Nijstad (2008), the reverse may actually be true. Across four experiments they found that when in conflict people engaged more with a problem and generated more original ways of arguing.

Being in social conflict seems to give people an intense motivated focus. So, to get creative, start a fight.

How to apply to tapping: One of my favorite types of tapping is argument tapping. In argument tapping all you do is give voice to each sides of an argument. As you move from point to point you state the opposing point of view.

For example, if you are trying to decide if you should take a new job you might tap like this:

eb: (con change) I am worried I am not going to like the new job
se: (pro change) But I know I need to leave the job I am in
e: (con change) But you aren't going to know anyone at the new job
un: (pro change) You didn't know anyone when you started your current job and you made friends
…

Think Love Not Sex (via part 2)

Forster et al. (2009) found that when experimental participants were primed with thoughts of love they became more creative, but when primed with carnal desire they became less creative (although more analytical).

While it certainly isn't the first time that love has been identified as a creative stimulus, psychologists have suggested a particular cognitive mechanism.

Love cues us with thoughts of the long-term, hence our minds zoom out and we reason more abstractly and analogically. Sex meanwhile cues the present, leading to a concrete analytical processing style. For creativity, abstraction and analogy are preferred.

How to apply to tapping: Start your tapping sessions on an emotional high. There are couple of ways of doing this. You could either tap to a list of things you are thankful for or you can tap while thinking of the people you love (or both!). (I go into a much large discussion of why this happens in the free audio Gratitdue v. Poverty.)

By taking a few minutes to do this type of tapping you are going to release a great deal of the general edge and emotion you are feeling. By doing this type of work you are clearing some of your emotional clutter which help you to see things clearer which help you see a path to healing much clearer. (Here is another possible way to achieve the same thing in the free audio Clearing The Deck

This is part 1 of a 4 part series. Check out all 4 parts for more creative ideas.

Pod #41: Power of Forgiveness

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One of the most powerful tools in transformation is our ability to forgive ourselves and others. When we forgive we are not saying it is ok. We are not saying we want to have the same thing happen again. What we are saying is that we are choosing no longer to be emotionally entangled in the past. Forgiveness is one of the steps of moving from reliving to remembering.

In this show we will explore the power of forgiveness and how we can use tapping to make forgiveness of others and ourselves an important part of our transformation.

Pod #40: Questions and Answers About Tapping

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Gene host's a radio program every other Tuesday @ Emotional Freedom Techniques Community Radio. In the most recent show Gene answered questions from beginners and practitioners alike from all over the world.

On this show Gene tackles for bigger questions

This week Gene answered:

  • Should I be working with a practitioner and how do I choose one?
  • I have seen some other tapping protocols that don't use the same points that are taught in the EFT manual. Is it okey if I use other tapping points or will this mess things up?
  • I have heard you talk about in the past that you don't trust what a client says about their issue? What do you mean by this and with this in mind how do you work?
  • I want to quit smoking. I tap on “Even though I am a smoke I love and accept myself” This makes me feel a little less stressed about quitting smoking, but I still smoke as much as ever. What can I do?

Important Links:

“…and I choose this for my reality!”

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our mind giving us opportunity for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

One of the common mistakes we make when assessing a situation is making a generalizations. We say things like, “Everyone at work hates me!” or “Nothing I do is good enough for my boss!” It is obvious with a few moments of reflection that these statements aren't true. Sure, there might be one or two people at work we don't get along with, but it is not “everyone”.

The problem with these types of generalizations is they move us to a place were we are responding to them as if they were true. (The words we say out loud have that much power.)

If I walk into my workplace believing that everyone hates me I am going to act in a particular way. If I walk into my workplace believing that I don't get along with Bill and Mary. I am going to act in a different way.

In the first situation I am going to come in ready for a fight at every turn while in the second situation I am going to know the two people I need to avoid through out the day if it is possible. Those are two dramatically different emotional states.

In addition to the generalization that we can have about what others think and feel we can also fall into the trap of generalization about ourselves. For example we can have generalization about our own actions and outcomes, “I fail at everything I try!”

One of the most troublesome of these generalizations about ourselves we can have is when we assign a characteristic of a group to ourselves. These types of generalizing can be about (but not limited to) our gender, race/ethnicity, age, job, and family. For example:

  • You know that men aren't very good with talking about their emotions.
  • You know how fiery the Irish can be.
  • People my age can't learn all this new technology.
  • EFT practitioners are just bad at marketing themselves.
  • The men in my family have never been lucky in relationships.

These types of generalization (like all generalization) often have a seed of truth in them. They become problematic when they are taken as total truth.

If I believe that, “The men in my family have never been lucky in relationships” then it is going to be very easy for me on a subconscious level to sabotage myself. Because I “know” it isn't going to work out in the end I might as well end it now to avoid future pain.

It is amazing how a simple statement that we would just toss off as a fact the same way we would say “It is sunny today” can so dramatically affect our behavior.

I have found a very simple way that we can take the power out of these phrases. We can do this by bring our own responsibility to these statements. All we need to do is add, “…and I choose this as my reality” to the end of the phrase. When we do this we are changing from a member of a group with a characteristic (which we are a victim of) to being a person who is choosing our own reality.

Notice how much different each of these phrase feel when we add that phrase on to the end:

  • You know that men aren't very good with talking about their emotions and I choose this as my reality.
  • You know how fiery the Irish can be and I choose this as my reality.
  • People my age can't learn all this new technology and I choose this as my reality.
  • EFT practitioners are just bad at marketing themselves and I choose this as my reality.
  • The men in my family have never been lucky in relationships and I choose this as my reality.

When we choose something it means that we can change it. I am not longer at the mercy of the whims of fate, but I am back in control. If I want to keep that as my reality, great(!), but it is my choice. If I want to be something else I can choose that as well. When we take responsibility for our situation then we control our situation. When we control our situation we can become who we want to be.

Creativity Boosting Techniques That Accelerate Tapping Success (AKA: How To Keeping Tapping When It Gets Boring Or Stale) Part 2 of 4

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[This article is part of a four part series on how to get create with tapping when you are stuck or bored with tapping. A new part willed be added every few weeks. See the parts that have been published so far and check back regularly to see the full series.]

photo by Ali Edwards

Mechanically tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very easy thing to do. All you need is to provide stimulus to the tapping points plus tuning into the issue at hand. The tapping part is easy; what can be hard is the tuning in part. Often we are so close to an issue or we have been working on an issue that it is difficult to see it clearly.

Recently Jeremy Dean's PSYBlog had a very interesting two part series (via kottke.org) which explored 14 of ways we can become more creative and more efficient problem solvers. In this four part series I am going to explore how we can apply many of these insights to tune into our issues in new ways (plus a few of my own).

Obviously not all of these are going to work for every issue, but by having a complete menu to choose from you are going to find new ways to approach the issue.

Path Of Most Resistance (via part 1)

When people try to be creative they usually take the path of least resistance by building on existing ideas (Ward, 1994). This isn't a problem, as long as you don't mind variations on a theme.

If you want something more novel, however, it can be limiting to scaffold your own attempts on what already exists. The path of most resistance can lead to more creative solutions.

◊ For insight: because it's the path of least resistance, every man and his dog is going up and down it. Try off-road.

How to apply to tapping: One of the reasons I love EFT/tapping is because we can gently creep up on an issue. We don't have to throw ourselves right in the middle of the emotion to do work. Sometimes we can prevent our own progress because we are proceeding so cautiously that we aren't making any progress at all.

If this is case you might consider going all the way and really getting after an issue. There are some obvious risks to taking this approach. If we dive in headfirst we get into an emotional state that is overwhelming which prevents any progress at all or we could open an emotional issue that we then carry with us for a great deal of time after our tapping time.

I would only recommend this type of approach with a skilled practitioner. Being a skilled practitioner is more than just being able to lead clients to healing, but also being able to recognize possible pit falls helping you to prevent them or to pull you back when you have become consumed with your emotions.

Re-Conceptualisation (via part 1)

People often jump to answers too quickly before they've really thought about the question. Research suggests that spending time re-conceptualising the problem is beneficial.

Mumford et al. (1994) found that experimental participants produced higher quality ideas when forced to re-conceive the problem in different ways before trying to solve it. Similarly a classic study of artists found that those focused on discovery at the problem-formulation stage produced better art (Csikszentmihalyi & Getzels, 1971).

◊ For insight: forget the solution for now, concentrate on the problem. Are you asking the right question?

How to apply to tapping: We become very comfortable with our own story. When someone asks about the work we do we can effortlessly jump in to a quick description of our work. The same is true with our family, our significant other, where we grow up and the like.

It is no different with the issues of our lives, especially for the ones that have been present for many years. There a times in client session where I can hear my client hit the play button to start to tell me the story they have told many times before. The have told the story (“I all started when I was 7…”) so many times that they aren't even listening to the words they say. It just becomes automatic.

These stories about our issues might have been true at one point, but as more time passes and we keep telling the same story it is less and less likely to be accurate. If you find yourself in this type of rut I would recommend two tactics.

First, retell your story (your explanation of why you are the way you are), but think about every statement to see if they are true. I am not just talking about the fact as we know them, but also (and most importantly) the motivation we have assigned to others peoples acting.

For example, it is true a co-worked showed up 10 minutes late to the meeting. When I tell the story I say that Sally showed up to the meeting 10 minutes late because she doesn't respect me. The second part of that statement might or might not be true. If we have been telling the story for a while we probably are just taking it as fact and no longer looking to if it is true.

Take every part of your story/explanation a take it apart to see what it is true and what is not.

Second, image what it would be like to re-explain the situation to someone who has no understand of what is going on. I often do this were I image I am explain the situation to an alien from another plant who has just made it to Earth. Since they have no understanding of how humans behave I need to be very clear in articulating everything that is going on. I can't assume they know anything at all. This will force me to look at each of the statements in detail which will provide me the opportunity to see things in a new way.

Counterfactual Mindset (via part 2)

Conjuring up what might have been gives a powerful boost to creativity.

Markman et al. (2007) found that using counterfactuals (what might have happened but didn't) sometimes doubled people's creativity. But counterfactuals work best if they are tailored to the target problem:

  • Analytical problems are best tackled with a subtractive mind-set: thinking about what could have been taken away from the situation.
  • Expansive problems benefited most from an additive counterfactual mind-set: thinking about what could have been added to the situation.

How to apply to tapping: You can use this approach for things that have happened in the past, things that are happening right now, or things that might (!) happen in the future.

All you need to do is replay in your mind the situation while making a few changes. You can do this in both a subtractive and additive way. You can add resources or people to the image. This would look like imagining the same situation unfolding taking out or adding one or two people. How would things be different with these changes?

When we do this we will see our current issues in a new light, gain insight in to new outcomes, and/or see the root issue in a new way.

This is part 1 of a 4 part series. Check out all 4 parts for more creative ideas.