 photo by Keith Davenport |
To work down a path of healing we need to take stock of where we are and what issues we would like to heal. One of the questions that come to mind when we do this is, “How did I get here?” This can become a consuming question, to the point that it distracts us from the healing process itself.
It is a natural question to ask. First, we may think that it will help us to heal our way out of the current feeling or circumstance. Second, we may believe we need to know how we got here to insure that we never end up here again.
While it can be important to the healing process to understand how we got here and how we can avoid ending up here again, it’s much more important that we understand where we are and where we would like to be.
I think sometimes it’s a disservice to clients when we harp on the memories that have created the past situation. Yes, it can be very helpful to understand these aspects of an emotional charge, but plenty of clients have felt hopeless because they couldn’t bring up past memories.
Also, we can be mistaken about the original cause of an emotional charge.
Instead, if we are easy with ourselves about how our problem came to be, we can freely enter the emotions of the moment which will lead us to the true root cause.
I find it very helpful to tap on the idea of not needing to know how we got here before going after a big problem. Then we are only dealing with the essential issue rather than worrying about knowing why.
The tapping patter could look something like this:
There is a part of me that really wants to know how I got into this situation…it feels I need this information for the healing…it believes I need this information to protect myself from ending up in this place again…while it can be very helpful to know this information…it is not essential to the healing process…I can completely heal my current emotions without knowing a single thing about how I got here…it is possible to use the emotions I am feeling right now as the information to do the tapping…as I work on how I feel right now it is possible that memories and other information about how I ended up here will come up…if this happens it will provide more chances for me to heal…if it doesn’t happen that’s okay as well because I have all the information I need…I give myself permission to be easy with myself in this process…it is much more important to know where I am and where I am going…than to know how I got here. [How to use these tapping phrases]
About Gene Monterastelli
Gene Monterastelli is a Baltimore based EFT practitioner who in addition to work with clients and groups regularly writes and records about how to use the tapping protocols to regain control of your health and well-being.
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Comments (1)
Another EFT Practitioner mentioned the other day that focusing on finding specific events from the past that could be the cause of today’s problems felt like the ‘old school’ approach to EFT. Instead, I tend to combine EFT with solutions-focus brief therapy which, as you mentioned, is about focusing on where you are now, what you want and how to move towards it.
The approach taught on the EFT DVDs is influence by Gary’s education in NLP and can be considered a problem focused approach. This is appropriate in some circumstance but, I believe, not all of them.
The best EFTers are the ones who can use many different approaches depending on the issues presented by the client.