Learn EFT – EFT 102: Step One – Tune in and Rate – (Emotional Issue)

This article is part of the EFT 102: How to do EFT, The Basics series.

If you have not read EFT 102: Step one – Tune in and Rate – (Physical Issue), please read that article first.  Even if you are learning Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to work on an emotional issue, I have found in my practice it is often easier to learn EFT with a physical pain before moving on to an emotional issue.  Also, there is information in that article that is assumed you know before reading this article.

The biggest problem most beginners have with using EFT for emotional issues is not getting specific enough.

When looking at emotional issues, Gary Craig’s analogy of a table is very helpful.  The general emotions we feel (eg anger, frustration, helpless, fear) are like a tabletop.  For a tabletop to held up, there needs to be table legs.  These legs are the specific memories that support the emotion.

Table top: Fear of walking in to a room of strangers
Table legs: I walked into a to the wrong room, interrupted a meeting.
I walked into a room and everyone stopped what I they were doing and stared at me.
I walked into a room to hear Sally talking about me.

The reason we have the fear of walking to a room is because of the specific memories where this was uncomfortable in the past.

EFT, as a tool, is a very small sharp tool, like a knife.  It is not very good at taking out the tabletops, but is very good at taking out a table leg.

When we are going to work on an emotional issue, it is very important that we get as specific as possible, choosing only one leg.  Be careful not to choose multiple legs or the tabletop.

This is easier than it sounds.  Once you name an emotion, think of a specific time you felt this way.

For example, let’s pretend I have don’t think I am very smart.  Once I have picked the emotion of thinking I am dumb, I think of a time when I felt dumb, like when I was doing a math problem at the chalk board when I was in third grade, blanked out, and the teach said, “Why don’t we have someone who knows what they are doing help Gene out.”
[Side note: Yes something from decades ago, like being embarrassed by a grade school teacher can affect us today.]

My reminder phrase (which we are going to use in steps 2 and 3) would be, “feeling stupid and embarrassed when I couldn’t do the problem and the teacher said I couldn’t do it.”

If you are having trouble constructing the phrase, ask the magic question, “Why?”

Why do I feel stupid?  Because the whole class saw I couldn’t do it.

Write your phrase down.

Once we have tuned into the issue, we now rate it.

In this case, we have two emotions to work on: feeling stupid and feeling embarrassed.

0 to 10 how stupid do you feel?
write: stupid – 8 (or what ever your number is)

0 to 10 how embarrassed do you feel?
write: embarrassed – 9

When you are coming up with a number, it is the level of the emotion when you think of the memory now, not the level back then.

Sometimes when we think of something form our past we have a different emotion now, than we did back then.  For example, I found myself wondering the stress of Valencia, Spain at 2 am looking for a place to stay.  I didn’t want to look like an easy mark as the dumb tourist, so I was sneaking into the shadow to look at my guidebook to find another hotel/hostel to look for a room.

At the time, I felt a little scared.  Today when I think of the memory I feel stupid for putting myself in a situation that I should have known better.  If I were to tap on this memory I would tap on what I feel now, not what I felt then.

Now that you know a specific instance of the emotion you are ready to go to Step 2.  Once you have cleared the emotional charge for this emotion, you can repeat the process with as many memories as you can think of.  At a certain point you will clear out enough legs that the tabletop will collapse.

About Gene Monterastelli
Gene is a Baltimore, MD based EFT practitioner, the editor of Tapping Q & A, and the host of the Tapping Q & A Podcast (archive | iTunes). Learn more about Gene here or find out how to work with Gene here. You can connect with Gene on his personal twitter, his tapping twitter or on facebook.